Rockets/Jazz - if only the playoffs started TODAY

by grungedave on Aug 13, 2008 9:38 AM CDT Comment 5 comments

With all the distractions of the Olympics and Rafer's drunken antics, I almost forgot that the Ron Artest trade should be official tomorrow. Which makes me "officially" wonder what the Rockets could have done last year if only we had the services of Crazy Pills during the playoffs.

My conclusion? There is no freakin' way the Jazz would have beat the Rockets in any of the two previous years if we had Artest on the roster. No freakin' way.

Yes, I know, the Rockets have lost to the Utah Jazz the last two years in the first round of the playoffs. Blah, blah, blah. It's not like Utah did anything thereafter. The Jazz are still o-for-forever on NBA Championship rings...

(haha, suck it, Utah!)

Ah, that taunt never gets old... but anyway...

Take a look at the rosters and matchups as they would exist today. Too many people think Utah might be one of the top 2 teams in the West right now. Those people would be wrong.

As of tomorrow, the Rockets roster/rotation will look like this:

PG: Rafer (sober, I hope)
SG: Tracy McGrady
SF: Ron Artest
PF: Luis Scola
C: Yao Ming

off the bench, we'll have the luxury of subbing in:

Shane Battier, Brent Barry, Carl Landry (I hope), Aaron Brooks and Chuck Hayes.

Which means we could have a 4th Q "finishing 5" of T-Mac, Crazy Pills, Battier, Scola and Yao. Would any team legitimately be able to expect to score more than 20 points in a quarter against that group? Even if the Rockets have trouble scoring on their own (which they won't), they are going to pose defensive matchup nightmares for every team they face. Close games are going to favor the Rockets. Finally.

Though, in the spirit of equal time, here's the rag-tag group the Jazz might throw out on the court next season in their continued effort to offend, insult and bore NBA fans nationwide:

PG: Deron Williams (okay, he's cool)
SG: Ronnie Brewer
SF: Andrei Kirilenko
PF: the guy who stabs blind guys in the front
C: Mehmet Okur

off the bench, the Jazz will have no choice but to turn to:

Ashton Korver, Matt Harpring (pwn3d, bitch!), C.J. Miles and Paul Millsap (unless they also want me to mention Jarron Collins and Brevin Knight, but I'm guessing "no" there).

Hmmm, let's see... starting lineup - definitely favors the Rockets. Major advantages at C and SG overcome Utah's only real advantage - which would be at the PG spot. But since Deron can't play the whole game, the Rockets' depth, size and experience would (and will) overwhelm Utah over the course of any game/series. And don't start with any "Boozer would kill Scola" arguments. Scola is a badass. Boozer is a coward. Scola already has a gold freakin' medal, while Boozer is playing the Christian Laettner role this year for the U.S. squad.

I am so ready for the 2008/2009 season to begin. Rockets v. Jazz, first matchup - Saturday, December 27, 2008 @ Houston. I'll take that belated Christmas gift, thank you very much. Ron Ron will have had 2 months to get acclimated to his new teammates. Correspondingly, the Rockets will have learned how to play as a team by then... uh oh!!!

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Hell yeah! Lets get this rolling already. The one thing you forget is that Ron-Ron is called Crazy Pills for a reason - he has destroyed two stalwart franchises in the NBA. Nothing good can come from having that loon on your team. I bet $5.00 that Harpring gets Ron so messed up in the head that he gets thrown out of at least 2 games against the Jazz this year. It sucks that we have to wait for Christmas to play because by that time Yao will have fractured something, Tracy will have cried and his back will have gone out, Adelman will have complained to the NBA about 500 times and Crazy Ron will have succesfully torn your team in two. Rafer Alston and Ron Artest on the same team, this is going to be a fun ride for sure.

Love,

True Blue Jazz

by Hammy on Aug 13, 2008 11:41 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Nice post. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE COME TO THE DREAM SHAKE! When is your honeymoon with Crazy Pills going to end? Perhaps December 27th when in the 4th quarter 0:48 remaining, crazy pills decided to elbow Harpring getting his 2nd technical and the Jazz get the free throw and the ball back. Thus ending the game on a 3-0 run. Can't wait to see how that post turns out.

True Blue Jazz Forever!

by C.B. Jack on Aug 13, 2008 11:51 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

This is all well and good and yes, the matchups all end up in your favor (minus D-Will) but there is one problem: The playoffs don't start Dec. 27th. Like Hammy mentioned above, by the time the playoffs roll around, Yao is done, T-Mac is upset with Ron because he was suspended for hitting a Rockets Security Guard for bumping his chair during a timeout. Where does this leave you? Exactly where you have been the last two years. The only good part is, your regular season record will put you in a higher seed which means we play you in the Western Conference Finals this year and we all know the result. Jazz win.....then lose to the Bulls who aquire M.J. the day before the playoffs. Great Post! Long live the Dream Shake/True Blue Jazz Rivalry.

by Booner on Aug 13, 2008 12:25 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs