Word of the Day: "Maloney Line"
by Tom Martin on Dec 17, 2008 7:31 PM CST
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PrintToday's word is "Maloney Line", named after former Rockets PG Matt Maloney.
Definition: A starting point guard that sadly averages less than 4 assists per game.
As in "Through the first month of the season, Mike Conley was rockin' the Maloney Line as he only averaged 3.8 apg."
I grew up watching Matt Maloney shoot threes for us back when we had those sweet striped blue unis (I'm the only one that liked them, apparently). I never, however, remember Maloney being much of a passer, so I looked up his stats and found that not only was he not a great passer: he was a terrible passer. His career high in assists per game was 3.7, that coming in his rookie campaign. Over the course of his career, he averaged 2.9 assists per game, which made me wonder how he ever started for us. You could say that he is the point guard version of Steve Novak, which entitles me to think he's awesome. But seriously.
How can a starting point guard average under four assists per game? Even Rafer gets his 5 assists per game amidst shooting it every time he is nearly open. Only one person has put up the Maloney Line this season other than the combination of Conley and Kyle Lowry, that being Derek Fisher, who gives up most of his PG duties to Kobe as the game progresses.
You've heard of the Eddy Curry Line. This is the Maloney Line.
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"back when we had those sweet striped blue unis"
Blasphemy – utter blasphemy.
I’d bet you think the current Astros pinstripes look cool, too.
No I hate the Astros uniforms.
As for the Rockets, I’m still a fan of the old school yellow and red. But I did like the pinstripes while we had them. Not as classy looking, but they were just so much different than everyone elses.
The current Astros pinstripes
Are pretty generic, there really isn’t much to dislike about them. They aren’t fantastic, but that doesn’t stop people from liking the basically identical Yankees jerseys (though I hate the Yankees)
The problem with the Astros pinstripes
is that they go for the “retro” look by referencing an element that was not – at any point in the franchise’s history – a part of an Astros uniform. I mean, they could have referenced the pre-1975 Astros look, but whoever designed the current uniforms chose not to. Instead, they picked pinstripes. The result is totally generic.
Of course, I thought the blue and gold look from the 90s was great, but whatever.
Anyways, back to the Rockets. The late 1990s Rockets uniforms were God-awful. And not in that “so ugly it’s cool because it’s a total ‘fuck you’ to everyone else’s sense of style” sort of way that epitomized the Stros’ Rainbow Guts or the Texans’ current all-red uniforms. They just sucked. They looked like clown outfits: the pinstripes, the big red stripe down each side, the ridiculous logo.
Let me put it this way:
When you’re a kid, you think a lot of things are cool, despite the fact that they are really, really lame (laser tag, stretch armstrong, and linkin park are good examples of this).
When I was a kid, I thought – despite being a child and having the natural predisposition towards liking very lame things – that the Rockets’ uniforms were absolutely awful. I knew this intuitively at eight years-old. Age has only reinforced my belief in the fact that those uniforms were the most awful things seen in Houston sports ever.
What's wrong with laser tag?
When I'm on the mic, I'm like global warming, you can't ignore me.
by tehGrindCrusher on Dec 18, 2008 8:48 AM CST up reply actions
The late 90s uniforms are the worst unis in the NBA's history
And yes, worse than the Denver skyline, worse than the Raptors, worse than the early Grizzlies, worse than the green Hawks jerseys. The only one that comes close is the gold Wizards jerseys
Remember when they re-did the floor?
And the area inside the three point line looked like the Simpson murder scene?
That was hideous.
When I'm on the mic, I'm like global warming, you can't ignore me.
by tehGrindCrusher on Dec 18, 2008 10:21 AM CST up reply actions
Ya, I shouldn't have forgotten to comment on that
As Barney Stinson has shown us, we should be going back in our older age and kicking some kids asses at it since in theory we know strategy now
as a kid, it was just running around in the dark playing grabass with light guns
without all the fun of playing regular grabass
I really like the Astros “popsicle” unis. They are an example of something sort of bad that became really good. I’d vote to go back to them in a heartbeat. Or I’d like to put a pistol somewhere on our uniforms. Also, I miss the Astrodome. Yes. I do. Why? Two reasons.
1. It was really cold in Dome. Like 68. That was awesome in July. The new ballpark, while pretty, tries too hard to evoke non-existent nostalgia. You want me to be nostalgic? Get the park down to 67 degrees from its usual 85.
2. The dome was unique, and gave us a real homefield advantage. One where guys like Jose Lima were useful.
Rockets Unis – I can’t bear to look at the Jetsons Pyjamas without dying a little inside. Those blew. I like the Buffy the Basketball Slayer unis. (compare fonts if you don’t believe me)
Laser Tag- Can’t some things be really cool when you’re 10, and not later and still be ok? I now think single malt scotch is pretty cool. At 19 I didn’t – I liked to put 151 in slurpees. The thought of that scares me now (and intrigues me too, but I digress). Happiness is where you find it I guess. Except for…
Linkin Park – Not good now, then, or ever. Sorry. You did grow out of it though. Good on ya.
Texans All-Red Unis – Horrifying. Unique. Effective. I say keep em.
TexanTerp – I very much like the idea of having to wear the Rocket Jammies. But not just for McGrady. Anyone plays a weak game – you know what you’ll be wearing tomorrow.
just for the record
I never liked Linkin Park. I was just using them as an example of things that actually suck, but which kids seem to think are good.
Tracy's Choice
Maybe Adelman should institute a policy where McGrady has to wear the “Pajama” unis of the 90’s when he decides to be lazy/scared and takes jumpshots all night. Then he could reward him with his choice of current or thowback jerseys when he shows some tenacity and gets results like a triple-double!
Side note: I used to collect basketball cards like crazy and for a time started getting these fake signed college cards of current NBA players. The intrigue was that each pack had 1 authentically signed card. Guess who I have 3 signed cards of, resulting in my decision to never buy those packs again?
Matt “I hang out at (formerly) Celebration Station on Saturday nights” Maloney.
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