10 reasons the Rockets will win Game 7
by grungedave on May 16, 2009 9:46 AM CDT
in Whimsical Posts
53 comments
Yes, more lists. Now that the Rockets have forced a Game 7 in L.A., there is only one more opportunity to poke fun at the Lakers. Because Kobe's season ends tomorrow. Which will coincide nicely with the premiere of Kobe Doin' Work.
Ten Reasons the Rockets Win Game 7 on Sunday
10. Even Hollywood would have to admit that the Rockets winning would make for a better story than the Lakers winning.
9. Unbeknownst to the Lakers... or even to Keith Jones... the undersized Rockets have switched to a steady diet of Weight Gain 4000. Luis Scola is going to be such a beefcake he won't fit in the Staples Center. BEEFCAKE!!
... just try to stop him now, Mr. Gasol!
8. Now that the Lakers have struck down Yao Ming, they've only made him more powerful than anyone could possibly imagine. The Force is strong with the Rockets.
7. Because Violet Palmer will probably be assigned as one of the referees... and one of her calls will backfire in the Rockets' favor. Law of averages or something.
6. Tracy McGrady will not be in the building to bring his bad mojo to the team.
5. Kobe Bryant is too much like Maverick. And we all know that Maverick was a badass before he went psycho on Oprah... but he also finished 2nd to Iceman. On Sunday, Shane Battier will be playing the role of Iceman. He isn't flashy. But he just doesn't make mistakes.
4. Rick Adelman is due. He has never beaten Phil Jackson in a playoff series. Like... ever. Memorably in the 1992 NBA Finals. Again ten years later in the 2002 Western Conference FInals. (Though Robert Horry had a lot to do with that. Horry being the greatest winner of the modern era playing a huge role there.)
3. Because Chuck Hayes making two free throws to clinch the series would be the most awesome and hilarious thing... EVAR.
2. Scola's hair > Vujacic's hair.
1. Because Sunday will be God's way of letting David Stern know who is really in charge of things. And it ain't David Stern.
GO ROCKETS!!!
(Monday is my birthday... tomorrow's Rocket victory will be one of the best b-day gifts I've ever received!)
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AMEN
testify, brother. The rockets will triumph over evil!
by mutombo4life on May 16, 2009 10:09 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Did you hear what Kobe said after Game 6?
At his locker, after the game, Kobe told the media: “I’m sorry, guys,” Bryant said. "I don’t feel like talking right now. Just put down, ‘Kobe stinks.’ "
1997 Conference Finals Game 4: (Eddie) Johnson at the buzzer....GOOOOOD!!!
by akaiser22 on May 16, 2009 11:01 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
odd
David Ortiz said the same thing recently. ;-)
by grungedave on May 16, 2009 11:29 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Kobe's Technical Foul in Game 6 Rescinded
We all knew that was going to happen. This guy can do anything and get away with it.
by Golden Boy on May 16, 2009 11:08 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I'm a Rockets fan
but you have to admit Kobe didn’t deserve a technical on that play. It was Ron’s fault he bit his own tongue. I love Ron Artest too.
by T-Mackin on May 16, 2009 3:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
He might have deserved it
We don’t know what he was saying. He could have been cursing out the refs for all we know.
by Golden Boy on May 16, 2009 4:01 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Back in 2002
It was the league, Stern, and the officials. that’s all. Adelman should have won.
by Golden Boy on May 16, 2009 11:10 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
who are you?
Golden Boy, are you Ralph Nader???
by grungedave on May 16, 2009 11:30 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don't get it
Sorry, I had to wikipedia him. I don’t keep up with politics.
by Golden Boy on May 16, 2009 11:47 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
in 2002
Ralph Nader filed an official protest under a paritcular Consumer RIghts Act with regard to the outcome of Game 6 versus the Lakers/Kings. He wanted an investigation conducted because the game was so obviously “fixed”.
by grungedave on May 16, 2009 11:49 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I imagine Ralph was right. Wasn't everyone's pal Donaghy there too?
Go to the light. Go to the light...
by Xiane on May 16, 2009 5:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/nba/02playoffs/2002-06-06-nader-letter.htm
by grungedave on May 16, 2009 11:50 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Can anyone think of a series where the Lakes were not given the benefit of the
doubt on calls? Ever? Or as in the Sacramento series – just flat out fixed.
by eastie Rich on May 16, 2009 3:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
hate
I don’t know how to make just one word bold.
by Golden Boy on May 16, 2009 3:58 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
*
hate
Three things you must know:
-"Ben Gordon is a bundle of muscle and clutch. That's all he's made of. Drink BG7 energy drink, you'll grow a pair of balls on your balls."
-Pau Gasol: The defense of a seven foot ladder paired with the post presence of Manute Bol.
-Joakim Noah is better than you.
by Prevenge on May 16, 2009 6:37 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
[as in, surround your word with asterisks]
asterisk, word, asterisk = bolded word or phrase
Three things you must know:
-"Ben Gordon is a bundle of muscle and clutch. That's all he's made of. Drink BG7 energy drink, you'll grow a pair of balls on your balls."
-Pau Gasol: The defense of a seven foot ladder paired with the post presence of Manute Bol.
-Joakim Noah is better than you.
by Prevenge on May 16, 2009 6:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
My 5 Reasons The Lakers Lose Game 7.
*
1.Aaron Brooks
2.Luis Scola
3.Ron Artest
4.Shane Battier
5.Carl Landry
*
by Hurricane_S. on May 16, 2009 11:50 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
nope
T-Mobile only allows for a fave five. If they make exceptions it would lead to chaos!!
by grungedave on May 16, 2009 11:54 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
no von wafer?
"This is not a game for boys. This is a game for men." - Phil Jackson
by Gils_Keloids on May 16, 2009 12:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
ewww von wafer
He doesn’t pass the ball. You can kind of tell the guys are kind of wary to pass to him because he just jacks up shots.
by T-Mackin on May 16, 2009 3:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's his job though
I have no problem with it. The guy rarely takes a “bad shot”
www.TheDreamShake.com Co-Founder and Writer
by UofTOrange on May 17, 2009 7:54 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
My 5 Reasons They Won't
1.Aaron Brooks
2.Luis Scola
3.Ron Artest
4.Shane Battier
5.Carl Landry
by coastman on May 16, 2009 6:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
#5 No no no you're missing the point
Iceman and Merlin got the most points in Top Gun training school, but when it came down to real combat, to when it mattered the most, Maverick was the best!
You’re still dangerous … but you can be my wingman anytime.
Quentin Tarantino ruined that movie for me.
"This is not a game for boys. This is a game for men." - Phil Jackson
by Gils_Keloids on May 16, 2009 12:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
best?
Maverick wasn’t the best in combat… he just didn’t die that day. And that caught everyone by surprise.
by grungedave on May 16, 2009 12:58 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
At the end of the movie, Maverick says he will come back as an instructor for Top Gun
Does that mean Kobe’s going to become a coach?
"This is not a game for boys. This is a game for men." - Phil Jackson
by Gils_Keloids on May 16, 2009 1:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Im just hoping there will be
neither beach volleyball, nor discussion of “riding of tails”
Go to the light. Go to the light...
by Xiane on May 16, 2009 5:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Just visiting, but I loved the Tarantino moment in Sleep with me. It was totally funny. For those who haven’t seen it… here it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyN8VN4BSzM
I’m rooting for the Rockets… hope you can get it done on Sunday.
Superman wears Manu Ginobili pajamas to bed. - CMoney
Free George Hill! (member #3)
by bellasa on May 16, 2009 2:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes, that one of the best analyses of that movie...
Go to the light. Go to the light...
by Xiane on May 16, 2009 5:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
u left one out
11. Rockets lose Tmac and advance past the first round, lose Deke and Yao to advance past the Lakers, lose Landry to advance past Denver, then lose Ron Artest to advance past the Cavs.
Your 2008-2009 Champions Houston Rockets and the Finals MVP Luis Scola
by Xiang on May 16, 2009 1:38 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Great list. Makes perfect sense to me… especially having Chuck Hayes ice the series with his FTs.
Straight from the No-Stat Zone to your computer!
Dunkin' Cheerleaders
by LatinD on May 16, 2009 1:39 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
The Spike Lee documentary certainly would coincide nicely and...
I for one think that Rocket’s fans should petition ESPN to change the name to “Kobe: Not Doin Work” when the Lakers lose tommorrow.
GO ROCKETS!
Gonna grab my baby gonna hold her tight…Sky ROCKETS in flight. Afternoon Delight. – I’m gonna be singing that all day tommorrow.
"[Lebron James] reminds me of a new and improved version of me" - Ron "Crazy Pills" Artest
by ClutchCityCrazyPills on May 16, 2009 2:14 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I've asked all the Laker fans I worked with if the Rockets have them nervous
They all said yes.
by Golden Boy on May 16, 2009 2:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Of course they're nervous....
If the Rockets lose, it will be the end of a great story. If the Lakers lose, it will be the biggest sports upset since Giants/Patriots a couple years ago and the biggest basketball upset since Warriors beat the Mavericks (I loved that so much).
"[Lebron James] reminds me of a new and improved version of me" - Ron "Crazy Pills" Artest
by ClutchCityCrazyPills on May 16, 2009 2:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I consider the Giants over the Patriots an upset
but not that big of an upset. And I appreciate you saying my Warriors over the mavericks is a big upset, but in retrospect, Dallas isn’t intimidating at all, so I don’t really consider that an upset. Again, thanks though.
by Golden Boy on May 16, 2009 4:00 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
They may not be that big of upsets when you consider
that the two teams that won were actually really good teams that were not given enough credit, but they are still upsets in the fact of how much media attention they got and how much no one gave either of those teams a chance.
"[Lebron James] reminds me of a new and improved version of me" - Ron "Crazy Pills" Artest
by ClutchCityCrazyPills on May 17, 2009 10:32 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
How about "Kobe - Goin' Fishin'"
Go to the light. Go to the light...
by Xiane on May 16, 2009 5:33 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That would be so great
Three things you must know:
-"Ben Gordon is a bundle of muscle and clutch. That's all he's made of. Drink BG7 energy drink, you'll grow a pair of balls on your balls."
-Pau Gasol: The defense of a seven foot ladder paired with the post presence of Manute Bol.
-Joakim Noah is better than you.
by Prevenge on May 16, 2009 6:39 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Say it with me!
BEEFCAKE! BEEFCAKE!
I'll snap yo neck like a twig if you sass me again. . .
by Duhoh on May 16, 2009 3:42 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Here's another Blazer fan ...
… wishing Houston the BEST. Your team is badass; stomp the L*kers!
quid Latine dictum sit, altum viditur
by dvcastle on May 16, 2009 7:02 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Speaking of terrible movies from the 80's
Does anyone else get the feeling that the past 36 hours have been like the training montage from Rocky IV for Kobe and Battier? Kobe’s in some souped-up crazy lab/gym deep beneath the Staples Center, where he’s being monitored by all the latest machines and turned into the ultimate basketball machine. Battier’s out in the wilderness somewhere doing defensive drills. All of it’s set to a crappy, up-beat song as the the hero and villain mimic each other’s training.
by Only_A_Lad on May 16, 2009 8:36 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
That is just fantastic
I can totally picture Shane screaming “KOBE!” at the top of a mountain.
by MadMartygan on May 16, 2009 10:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
we're gonna need a montage...
montage!
/cue Team America
by grungedave on May 17, 2009 2:10 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Darn it Houston! This is your moment!
I held my tongue when you ground my beloved Blazers to dust, but I have put all of my heart and soul behind you crushing the L*kers. To see it done without your two best centers will be fantastic icing on a sweet sweet cake. Go get ’em Rockets!
by pxilpooshr on May 16, 2009 8:53 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I hope you crush L.A.'s soul
and Kobe forces a trade, they try and swap Bynum for a vet, and everything turns all NYK for LA.
Come on you gotta listen unto me,
lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be. ~Johnny Cash
by HurraKane212 on May 17, 2009 2:54 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
again
Kobe can opt out tomorrow if he loses today. No trade demand necessary.
by grungedave on May 17, 2009 8:33 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Great piece
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.
by Caradoc on May 17, 2009 10:51 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
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