The most unprofessional, unresearched, biased, laziest, straight-from-the-gut Mock Draft ever 1.0
by Tom Martin on May 30, 2009 12:14 AM CDT
in Whimsical Posts
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PrintThe title implies that this will be no different than any other mock draft out there.
1. L.A. Clippers: Blake Griffin
Even Donald Sterling won't screw this one up. Griffin takes precedent over Chris Kaman or Zach Randolph. Griffin is one of those "once in a lifetime, if, by a lifetime, you mean every June" kind of players.
2. Memphis Grizzlies: Ricky Rubio
Apparently, they like Thabeet. He would be a great addition to their frontcourt, and the Grizzlies already have Mike Conley in development. This, of course, means that Chris Wallace will take Rubio.
3. O.K.C. Thunder: Hasheem Thabeet
Thabeet gives them a 7'3 center, something the Thunder desperately need.
4. Sacramento Kings: Jordan Hill
Geoff Petrie is famous for being impossible to predict come draft time. However, what we do know is that Petrie loves generic names. Kevin Martin, Jason Thompson, and now Jordan Hill.
5. Washington Wizards: Tyreke Evans
Gilbert Arenas will go to shooting guard, since point guards are not allowed to score.
6. Minnesota Timberwolves: James Harden
This one is tough, because the Mike Miller era was just beginning.
7. Golden State Warriors: Brandon Jennings
His flat-top haircut brings the perfect dose of "swag" back to the Warriors.
8. New York Knicks: Stephen Curry
He's the next Steve Nash, but without the passing skills. Get excited.
9. Toronto Raptors: Jrue Holiday
Great potential. Has yet to amount to anything, but really, he's got potential. Believe me.
10. Milwaukee Bucks: Jonny Flynn
After this, I'm not going to write any more sentences. This is just too boring.
11. New Jersey Nets: DeJuan Blair (Hayes with offense)
12. Charlotte Bobcats: DeMar DeRozan (Gerald Wallace at best)
13. Indiana Pacers: Ty Lawson (Really fast)
14. Phoenix Suns: James Johnson (Alliteration in name)
15. Detroit Pistons: Austin Daye (The Other Prince)
16. Chicago Bulls: Gerald Henderson (The Next Michael Jordan After Ben Gordon Was The Next Michael Jordan)
17. Philadelphia 76ers: Eric Maynor (Beat Duke - he has my respect)
18. Minnesota Timberwolves: Earl Clark (Slips only because he underachieved)
19. Atlanta Hawks: Jeff Teague (Another point guard that isn't really a point guard)
20. Utah Jazz: Tyler Hansbrough (Haha!)
21. New Orleans Hornets: Terrence Williams (My favorite player in this draft)
22. Dallas Mavericks: Chase Budinger (Find him annoying, so he goes to Dallas)
23. Sacramento Kings: Darren Collison (They deserve it, Collison is a keeper)
24. Portland Trail Blazers: Nick Calathes (More point guards to hide away in the basement)
25. Oklahoma City Thunder: Gani Lawal (Thanks, Chad Ford)
26. Houston Rockets (bought from Chicago): Sam Young (Love his game)
27. Memphis Grizzlies: Patrick Mills (More Mike Conley insurance)
28. Minnesota Timberwolves: DaJuan Summers (Should have been a lottery pick)
29. Los Angeles Lakers: Marcus Thornton (Has valuable experience playing in yellow)
30. Cleveland Cavaliers: BJ Mullens (Adds to Cleveland's already stunningly attractive frontcourt)
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1) I’d be willing to bet that this will be more accurate than any of the “well-researched” mock drafts out there. Ultimately, nobody but the FOs themselves know how each front office evaluates potential players, so it’s pretty much a crapshoot after the first three or four.
2) While I doubt that it will totally stop them from drafting him, Rubio has already said he doesn’t want to play in OKC or Memphis. And I don’t think the talent difference between Rubio and Evans is so great that Memphis or OKC would get all that much from drafting him and trying to trade his rights.
3) I love the Sam Young idea.
Your friendly neighborhood Dreamshake mod.
Sam Young
Would increase my Rockets fanhood from 100% to 1000%.
Or if James White would ever call me back.
The Dream Shake
"I think girls are probably just better shooters." - Steve Novak
agreed. :)
"We don't need refs, but i guess white guys need something to do."- Charles Barkley
by Rockets 4 Life on May 30, 2009 3:04 PM CDT up reply actions
when did we get a first round pick....
i also like the sam young idea. we need a legit back up SF and at times could be a PF if needed (highly doubt that though- chuck, landry, scola.) but im just mentioning how versatile he is, not to mention hes got the best shot fake in the histroy of the game. he is a solid shooter aswell. very athletic too. bad news which isnt really bad news in my opinion is that james white might not getting next to nothing in playing time. the only way i could see him getting anything is if TMac (for some ever reason) does not play. (i think he’ll find a way to trip when he’s walking and tear his ACL, although i love McGrady, hes wayyyy to fragile). just wanted to mention also OKC is going to own if they get thabeet. they’ll have a decent bench becuz of him.(not to mention gettin collison or whoever else is there.)
"We don't need refs, but i guess white guys need something to do."- Charles Barkley
Tearing knee ligaments
Not hard to do. I tore the MCL on my right knee getting out of bed about six weeks ago.
"He walked 18."
"New league record!"
"Struck out 18."
"Another new league record! In addition he hit the sportswriter, the public address announcer, the bull mascot twice...also new league records! But, Joe, this guy's got some serious shit."
Apparently the Rockets have already had some workouts
http://www.draftexpress.com/nba-pre-draft-workouts.php?tid=17
Pretty much what you’d expect. Lots of swingmen, a few power forwards, and one center (Luke Nevil, with whom I would want nothing to do, but Morey is a lot smarter than I am). I think the highest projected pick was #2 in the 2nd round (Jermaine Taylor).
Your friendly neighborhood Dreamshake mod.
I'm not a big fan of thabeet
but OKC is tha perfect fit for him. he can be a shot blocker behind 2 good defenders in Westbrook and Jeff Green, and he’ll never have to be a scorer b/c he has my #1 Fav Man Crush K-Dizzle to take care of that. any team that drafts thabeet hoping he’ll put up big offensive numbers is gonna be severely disappointed.
and I love hansbrough to utah. it has to be destiny. and any reason to hate utah more is great (like we needed help)
I'M DISRESPECTFUL TO DIRT!! CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS?
GET OUT OF MY WAY, ALL OF YOU. THIS IS NO PLACE FOR LOAFERS. JOIN ME OR DIE. CAN YOU DO ANY LESS?
i hate hansbrough and i hate utah but there is a slight problem with them drafting him.
for one thing, he is just as good as shooter than boozer if not better(will cause match up problems again) his post moves are nonexistent but if he can get to the line with his quickness and score from the outside, thats a better scorer than boozer. good part for us is, boozer is able to get 15+ boards if he wants to. hansbrough could only maybe get 8 or 9 if he really worked. another thing is that with utah’s pick and roll offense hansbrough will do pick and pop and get open shots. (highly doubt that cuz rockets rotate very well).
"We don't need refs, but i guess white guys need something to do."- Charles Barkley
by Rockets 4 Life on May 30, 2009 3:08 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm not as high on hansbrough
I dont think he’s anymore than a bench player in tha league so I’m not worried about him hurting us in tha future.
I'M DISRESPECTFUL TO DIRT!! CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS?
GET OUT OF MY WAY, ALL OF YOU. THIS IS NO PLACE FOR LOAFERS. JOIN ME OR DIE. CAN YOU DO ANY LESS?
Hansbrough is going to be a stiff
He’ll be okay as a 8th man off the bench, but he’s not going to be an impact player. Plus he’s annoying. And white. Where else but Utah would he belong?
he is the utah jazz personified.
It will be a very sad day if he goes anywhere else.
Your friendly neighborhood Dreamshake mod.
I dont know if chicago would be willing to sell their pick
but NO at 21 seems like the ideal spot. they’re struggling $-wise and everyone knows they are tryin to dump salary (see: failed tyson chandler trade) so there wouldnt be any reason for them to bring on another guarenteed contact from so late in tha 1st. kinda like PHX a couple years back when they screwed their fans by selling away the Rudy Fernandez pick AND the Rajon Rondo pick. 2 dynamite players sold away for purely financial reasons. if I was a fan of phx I dont know if I could root for them after that.
I'M DISRESPECTFUL TO DIRT!! CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS?
GET OUT OF MY WAY, ALL OF YOU. THIS IS NO PLACE FOR LOAFERS. JOIN ME OR DIE. CAN YOU DO ANY LESS?
I think it’s better to hope for the nuggets to sell their pick as they are trying to get cap space for their free agents
by cedric ceballos on May 31, 2009 6:14 AM CDT reply actions
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