Your 2009/10 Houston Rockets: Sponsored by Ritalin (tm)
For that last few weeks, I've been staring at my computer trying to think of something interesting to write about -- or at least rant about -- as it relates to the Houston Rockets. And then it hit me - I am completely numb to most every bit of off-season news so far. To recap:
Rockets get blown out in Game 7 against the Lakers
(yet somehow just getting to Game 7 was deemed an accomplishment?)
Yao Ming's foot injury isn't healing. Even Yao is surprised.
Rick Adelman remains the coach. Narcoleptics worldwide rejoice.
McGrady begins rehab. Also makes some guarantees. Somewhere Daryl Morey cries.
Yao's foot injury ends up requiring surgery, thus ruining Yao's entire 2009/10 season. But, hey, on the bright side, the Rockets get an extra mid-level exception to spend! (To be spent on such big names as.... oh, never mind.)
Ron Artesttakes his entertaining brand of Crazy to Los Angeles to hang out with Kobe and Phil. The Rockets counter and sign Trevor Ariza. It's deemed an essential "trade." Ariza's playoff run pays off with a big contract. I am still not sold on his ability to be an impact player when no longer on Kobe's team.
The Rockets have no first round pick, but do acquire 3 second round picks and spend it on someone to replace Von Wafer (Jermaine Taylor), someone to replace Steve Novak a year later (Chase Budinger) and some other dude who probably won't make the roster.
The Rockets fail to sign anyone who is "tall" by NBA standards. But they do acquire David Andersen from the Hawks. He's not 7' tall, but he'll do. Other than Mr. Andersen, the tallest player on the Rocket roster is Brian Cook. Who refuses to step inside the 3-point line. Someone must have told Cook it's an invisible electric fence or something.
This leaves the Rockets with 15 players signed... none of whom are tall or who will be an all-star next year. And then suddenly it hit me:
As currently constructed, the 2009/10 Rockets are going to make me feel like someone stuffed me full of Ritalin®. Meanwhile, all my friends and fellow Rockets fans are also forced to ingest similar pharmaceuticals designed to leave us senseless and unfeeling. Then we're shipped off to watch Phil Collins in concert. And we somehow convince ourselves to like it!

Yeah, that's kinda how the Rockets make me feel these days. Seriously... Phil Collins?!?!?!
To make a long story short, I'll translate: Mr. Morey, this is when you need to go out and discover the equivalent of Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld. Immediately!!!
Otherwise, it's going to be a long, slow and mostly mediocre season for the Rockets next year. With guys like Aaron Brooks and Luis Scola - you know the Rockets will play hard and will never give up on a game. The flip side is that these guys are not franchise players and there will be many a night when the good guys simply don't have an answer for the size/athleticism of their scheduled opponents. All-in-all it translates to a 35 winseason and a lottery pick. Which.......... may end up being the best thing for the Rockets if Yao comes back and Tracy's Expiring Contract is used productively next summer.
I guess I just dread the thought of having to watch the basketball equivalent of Phil Collins for 82 games next year. Seriously... Phil Collins?!?!?
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TIMMAY!
One of the best South park episodes. Krazy Kripples is another one
by mutombo4life on Aug 18, 2009 10:48 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
But, i feel my rockets are in for a long season. And i WILL still root for them
by mutombo4life on Aug 18, 2009 10:49 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I would think
that that is the sentiment of most fans here. If you are checking the blog regularly during this particularly hellish summer, it’s because:
1. You’re looking for Rockets news (big trade, FA signing, etc.)
2. You’re a dedicated Rockets fan who didn’t jump on the bandwagon in May. You know who you are. The ones who went, “Houston won a playoff series! Wait! Houston has a basketball team! Yeah! I’ve been a fan my whole life, man. That Ralph Sampson guy, man, he’s gonna change the game. Do we still have that Asian dude?”-Believe it or not, I actually have heard that last one.
or I guess you come here just to be a troll and poke fun at the team with the most rotten luck in basketball. Then, you’re just a douche.
But the rest of are true Rockets fans, and of course we’ll be cheering them on whether they win 25 games or 50.
How many Biletnikoffs does he have? NOT TWO!
by ak2themax on Aug 19, 2009 4:55 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't be a jerk
I’ve been on here defending my rockets to likes of lakers fans just as long as you have.
by mutombo4life on Aug 19, 2009 10:20 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don't think...
I don’t think he’s being a jerk… his reply wasn’t necessarily directed towards you. It was more of a general statement…
by grungedave on Aug 19, 2009 11:26 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
It seemed generally aimed at me being it was a reply to my post
But it’s all good. Dorsey will help us pull thru
by mutombo4life on Aug 19, 2009 11:50 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Actually
It was not aimed at you. What I was trying to say was that you and I are in the exact same boat here. We both love the Rockets and will stick with them through thick and thin.
I was also calling out the bandwagon fans, I guess, but I also said that if you were on this site regularly, you probably aren’t on a bandwagon. You’re a true fan.
So, sorry for the confusion. I should have been more clear.
How many Biletnikoffs does he have? NOT TWO!
by ak2themax on Aug 19, 2009 10:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
it's all good
I want to see Dorsey Monster Dunk on Kobe just one time this year. Then the season will be a winning season no matter what
by mutombo4life on Aug 20, 2009 5:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Funny....
I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT…………OH LAWD
by bigalshouseoflove on Aug 18, 2009 3:44 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Of Course
I’m talking about the LOTTO
by bigalshouseoflove on Aug 18, 2009 3:45 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
wait a second
I’m also numb, but I refuse to allow you to defame Phil Collins. In case you don’t recall, Genesis was not universally hailed until after Peter Gabriel left the band. And, though Gabriel had more success early, Collins closed the gap and has 20+ quality songs to his name.
In the world of today’s music where everyone sucks (face it, they do. All of them. Admit it), I have to look back to the 90s and 80s to get some good music. Ironically, of course, the best music came out of the “grunge” movement. There was no “Dave” attached at the time.
However, I will admit that he’s an acquired taste. And the Rockets do need something along the lines of Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld. What about Faith+One? A personal favorite episode.
How many Biletnikoffs does he have? NOT TWO!
by ak2themax on Aug 18, 2009 10:34 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Genesis' best music was with Gabriel.
This is a fact.
by Caleb462 on Aug 21, 2009 12:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
You have a duty to turn him in.
I saw Phil Collins at the airport. I told him he sucked and the he hit me with a huge sack of Krugerands and walked away whistling “su su sudio”.
"So do you keep open 3pt FG percentage?"
"Yeah, we'd have everything you'd want, Bill."
"I hate you."
Bill Simmons/Daryl Morey Podcast 5/8/09
by Xiane on Aug 20, 2009 1:58 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions 0 recs
i dunno
Yao-less season is dead dreary. However, the Rockets made smart moves, and will be a scrappy, fun team to watch. Think about how much ball movement there should be on offense, and the tenacity on defense.
Plus, we should get to see much more development from the likes of Aaron Brooks, Kyle Lowry, Landry, Ariza, etc.
Another year of Adelman’s offense and Turner’s defensive schemes should have this team well on its way to being a tight knit, chip on their shoulder, ball-sharing, exciting team to watch.
Sure, they only have an outside shot at the playoffs, but there are never guarantees out West.
I for one am excited for the season (yet sad for Yao).
Now, if only they would televise ANY Rockets game nationally…
by tkired on Aug 24, 2009 6:54 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs















