An open letter to the City of Cleveland

Dear Cleveland Sports Fans,

did you expect anything different?  Your GM is Danny Ferry.  Your coach is Mike freakin' Brown.  Your team hasn't made one decent draft pick since 2003.  Every free agent they have signed has been disappointing.  Mo Williams had half a good season and then quickly faded.  Antawn Jamison is good but he's never been in a position to win it all, not even at UNC.  Beyond LeBron James there was nothing all that exciting about your roster.  Average-to-above-average players, sure, but the construction of that roster would have failed Daryl Morey's standards a long time ago.

But the worst offense?

You put faith in this man:

Shaquille O'Neal... the fat guy in the middle there.  No, the other fat guy.  The taller one.

With no Kobe or DWade to cover for him... the FatAss was never going to deliver a ring.

Oh, and in the meantime and until proven otherwise, LeBron = Michelle Wie.

Eric Cartman would now like to drink your tears, Cleveland..........

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join The Dream Shake

You must be a member of The Dream Shake to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at The Dream Shake. You should read them.

Join The Dream Shake

You must be a member of The Dream Shake to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at The Dream Shake. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker