"Hey, Jason Friedman, here, and I have no idea of what the hell I'm trying to do here."

Lord knows we're trying to land a free agent of some upper class merit this summer, as we always try to do.  I mean Morey's got Jason Friedman and the Red Rowdies on a freaking wild goose chase through the southern u.s. called the "Free Agency Caravan" (see here).  How is this, in anyway, luring the All-Stars to flock to Houston? Idk. Nobody knows, but I'll be damned if every year we're not doing something to get those assholes to look our way whether we're writing letters of courtly love to Marcin Gortat, or having Daryl himself show up at the doors of players at midnight within the hour of the beginning of The Great Free Agent Hunt  (Sorry about that, Chris, we didn't mean to wake you).

But, we gotta face it: we're a gamble in everyone's eyes. When's the last time we've gone a full season without our best players gettin brusied up and bailing on us? Or, fuck, even half of a season? Nobody wants to join this camp and end up having to carry us 3 months later because of injuries(For Example See: Ron Artest, Aaron Brooks in past 2 seasons) and they shouldn't be expected to.

How bout we get out there with this legit squad we got now, tear up some Western Conference ass, and make the FA's come to us, and quit this clown and pony act of selling ourselves out.  What do you retards think?