Shaq joins the Celtics: will have to adhere to a strict budget
by grungedave on Aug 5, 2010 8:55 AM CDT
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PrintSo the FatAss finally found a taker. Shaquille O'Neal has signed a 2 year contract with the Boston Celtics for essentially the league minimum ($3M/2 years). So, uh, congrats Fat Boy. Or something.
Of course, this is a guy who said he would retire when his last contract ran out, then decided he couldn't live without the NBA limelight and wanted to sign for the MLE with Miami. (But not Atlanta.) One problem - Miami wanted no part of him after he trashed their medical staff on the way out of town last time. I guess King James did not put in a good word for him after the failed season in Cleveland.
The hardest part for Shaq now? He's having to take a 90+% pay cut to play the next two years. Oh, the ignominy. Yes, Mr. O'Neal (no, not the other one, the one who can't play and is fat) will have to learn how to live on only $1.5M a year. But this is before taxes... before his agents/managers/promoters get paid... and before the dreaded $1500 a month cable bill. So, let's say Shaq will pull in about, oh, $500,000 this year for his efforts when all is said and done. Well, we have some good news. For that amount of money, you can buy:
two years worth of gas (Shaq's gas bill is about $23k per month)
500,000 cheeseburgers (though this is only for a limited time)
83,333 rolls of duct tape (to keep his big mouth shut)
250,000 of those Taco Bell meal deals (though Barkley will be offended if he doesn't share)
100,000 copies of Kazaam! at the $4.99 and under aisle at Best Buy
50,000 copies of the Fu-Schnickens CD he guest-starred on
half of Darrelle Revis' 2010 salary with the Jets
14,306 copies of the Better Basketball: Better Free Throws DVD
5,005 pairs of Kobe's shoes
.... but you can't put a price on dignity or maturity. Sorry 'bout that, Big Fella.
But cheer up. It could be worse. You may never have had Kobe or DWade on your team to carry you to a championship. And then you'd be without all that jewelry you crave!
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Those expenditures...
just wow. I really liked the CBS Article about his spending and the last line with the financial advisor “Put the watch down…”
Also, anyone else get the feeling that the majority of the money made on Kazaam was just Shaq paying people to watch it/buying copies?
I'm always right, this isn't conjecture, merely statement of fact.
I used to love the guy...
but then he started bad mouthing everyone for everything bad that ever happened to him. He’s an overgrown 14 year old child. Is he an easy target? Yes, but he continues to bring this upon himself.
yeah...he is a fat lazy waste of space...
maybe as a backup he would be ok…which is what he is now for Boston…but he is probably still more of a distraction than he is worth.
he is not as bad as paul pierce but still pretty terrible…
if he just would put down the donut, and the piece of cake, and the brownie, and the small child he wants to eat etc…
I know this is a little off topic but...
I saw on the espn rumor section that Kirelenko “could be dealt” and I was wondering what you guys think about trading Battier and Jeffires for him. I think he would make SF more dangerous for us and he can also play PF effectively. I know I may be subject to the banhammer for even thinking about bringing in a Jizz player so ridicule if you must. I know I deserve it and I will sanitize my hands when I am done typing.
GO ROCKETS, GO TEXANS, GO ASTROS (EVEN THOUGH THEY SUCK)!!!
sounds good to me
AK47 would be a major addition and the only reason we hate him now is because he is good and plays for the Jazz but if he is good and plays for the Rockets then its nothin but love..
by theSpaceCityKid on Aug 5, 2010 12:28 PM CDT up reply actions
seems like
it would take more than just those to player to get the Jazz to bite tho especially since there would be other suitors
by theSpaceCityKid on Aug 5, 2010 12:29 PM CDT up reply actions
True enough but
who are the suitors and do they have anything better than us to offer? Maybe, maybe not. I’m not sure other teams have enough to match salary but at the same time what would Utah want with Battier and Jeffies? Just a thought but I would love for him to be a Rocket. Only thing is Battier would annoy us with his defense when we play Utah.
GO ROCKETS, GO TEXANS, GO ASTROS (EVEN THOUGH THEY SUCK)!!!
AK47: is his D as good as Battier's?
if not then don’t bother. We have plenty of offense and unless he can add O on top of already great D like Battier then we don’t need him. We HAVE TO HAVE lock down D to make it anywhere past the first round. Particualrly with Miami and others with lots of quick perimeter players.
Also, I think AK47’s contract is very expensive. Unless he adds more on top of Battier’s D then no go.
Battier is a team leader and makes the whole team better…why pay more money for less leadership. Any grown man who cries regularly will NOT be a team leader.
Who do you think Grant Hill talked to last year before the Western Finals on how to guard Kobe? Battier. Do you think this is a guy we can do without if we want a chance this year?
Also if we trade for AK,
we have injury prone liabilities as badly as NO. Might have a starting roster that plays together 30% of the season.
No. Trading. Battier.
As John pointed out, if we want to win, we can’t afford to lose him. Leadership and defense are the two things he’s packing a lot of and let’s face it, those two things win titles. Kirilenko is more of a shotblocker but he’s high priced for what he brings (Some decent offense, nothing to write home about, and some lock down defense). Leadership wise, he brings nothing. According to this article, we’d have to eat a 17 million dollar contract to add him: http://nba.fanhouse.com/2010/01/19/money-not-an-issue-as-kirilenko-wants-to-remain-with-jazz/
Could we reasonably see giving up all the parts to get a guy who is paid as much as Yao Ming who contributes only a tiny bit more than Battier?
I'm always right, this isn't conjecture, merely statement of fact.
Didn't Tosh.0 air the photo?
If I recall the photo they used you’d have to take a weedwhacker to her just to find where to get busy.
I'm always right, this isn't conjecture, merely statement of fact.
Since we are on the topic of Shaq
"voted for the Jazz"
ooooh, that’s like being a pedophile – it never goes away. //grudgedave//
he really isn't
Rome is low-hanging fruit and Shaq is a bully.
You never see Shaq pick on someone who would actually fight back. Ever.
Gosh Dave
Funny is funny. Don’t let your hatred for the guy block you from seeing how entertaining he really is. You just don’t like him and that’s fine but you got to give him his credit. Any oversized human being trying to entertain is entertainment in itself. Good entertainment at that.
GO ROCKETS, GO TEXANS, GO ASTROS (EVEN THOUGH THEY SUCK)!!!
Shaq vs. Karl Malone.
That could be entertaining. Or not.
by DribbleHooper on Aug 5, 2010 5:41 PM CDT up reply actions
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