Orlando Magic Recap Contest
by Tom Martin on Jan 22, 2011 3:37 PM CST
in Blogging stuff
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PrintIf you'd like to write a recap for tonight's Orlando Magic game, put the following in the comments:
1. A colorful description of Steve Novak's talents.
Best entry wins. And "best" has no boundaries in meaning. Good luck.
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Steve Novak is...
Simply put, the league’s best shooting big man and he pairs a solid shooting touch with off the charts athleticism to get free on the perimeter. Unfortunately, he’s been stuck behind stars like Chuck Hayes, Marcus Camby, and more. He’s a top-notch defender who is big enough to guard the biggest centers like Shaq and Dwight, but also has the mobility to handle the Dirk’s of the world. Now, he’s taking some time off because he feels bad for the little children that try to guard him.
What, Tom?
you don’t want to write about our skulls getting kicked tonight? Don’t blame you. I’ll see what I can come up with.
"Sometimes the things that make you great, also make you an asshole."
Steve Novak is the dead eyed high flying star who played for quickly googles Dallas before being unfortunately released. He has made superstar plays such as single handedly getting the rockets to their 22 game win streak with buzzer beating shots. With so much potential as a rookie, he was often compared to Adam Morrison (the foretold next Dirk Nowitzki/Larry Bird of the NBA).
Alas, he went to the Clippers who had not been Griffin’d yet. The bigger they are the more the Clippers make ’em fail. And for a superstar like Novak, the fall was hard. He has been released by the MAvericks (who went from 2nd to 3rd in teh West after the release).
However, it is unquestionable that he will be back to be the next Brian Scalabrine and lead his team to an NBA championship
My time to shine
Steve Novak follows suit of many Rocket greats such as Matt Bullard and Brent Barry as “the white guy who can shoot.” Novak always had an uncanny way of never stepping inside the paint (even on defense) but ending up with 3 or 6 points (not 3-6, 3 OR 6). Novak’s career moment came in the 16th game of the Rockets legendary 22 game win streak. With the Rockets down by 2, Tracy McGrady passed outside for Novak to hit the shot with less than 2 seconds remaining. Without Novak, that streak would have stopped at 16 that day.
After the season, the Clippers sought out Novak’s talents and during the next season he hit 2 (2!) more game winners for the young Clip’s. Novak’s deadeye shooting propelled him into 16 minutes a game, and even got 3 starts during the season. He posted career highs of 6.9ppg and 1.9rpg.
Recently, he was picked up by the Mavericks, but he was released on January 5th. With Novak’s skills I’m sure he will find a job with another team in the future. He will always be in Rockets fans memories for his great shot against the Sacramento Kings to keep that streak alive.
If you're a fan of basketball, watch a movie called Sonicsgate. It's free, just google it.
Never mind
I officially with draw from this contest, I don’t think I’m beating anyone here.
"Sometimes the things that make you great, also make you an asshole."
Phew...
You were definitely the frontrunner.
by Patrick Harrel on Jan 22, 2011 5:02 PM CST up reply actions
Steve Novak is...
Who the &%*! is Steve Novak?
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
by TheChuckwagonisrolling on Jan 22, 2011 5:07 PM CST reply actions
Winner
If you're a fan of basketball, watch a movie called Sonicsgate. It's free, just google it.
Steve Novak
is the guy that inspired the movie “White Men Can’t Jump”
by Carlos_HoustonSportsFanatic on Jan 22, 2011 5:55 PM CST reply actions
Steve Novak
Are you ready to learn about his jumpshot. HIS MOTHER F*CKING JUMPSHOT. OK, first, he starts by bending his elbows and shit. He bends the hell out of these f*ckers, into like, acute angles or whatever, I don’t know, geometry is a dick! Anyway, then he bends his knees too. He gets all stoopy and what not. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL STOOPY IS?!?! WELL LOOK IT UP DUMBASS CAUSE IT’S ABOUT TO DROP ON YOUR ASS! So then, after he’s acute and stoopy, he zeroes in on the rim. He says “F*ck you, rim. I’m gonna make the net my bitch.” Then he hops like 5 inches off the ground. I CAN’T EVEN GET 5 INCHES STIFF! But like me, he releases after he’s up. Then, the ball releases from his long ass white fingers, like carrots, but white and smelling of ham. Why ham? GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE! Then the ball says “Sup?” To the net and the net’s all “I want you inside of me.” Then the ball plunges himself into the net. Sometimes the shot is so sexy it SLAMS out and back in for like 4 minutes and we get a delay of game penalty. Then Novak just winks at the refs and says “Your next.”
I win.
I don't usually plan out my days because the word "premeditation" gets thrown around a lot in courts today.
by BD34 on Jan 22, 2011 6:05 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
All good entries, many laughs.
But BD takes the cake here. Have it in the FanPosts by tomorrow, sir.
The Dream Shake ...on Twitter.
"I think girls are probably just better shooters." - Steve Novak
by Tom Martin on Jan 22, 2011 6:28 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
does it have
To be in that style or a legitimate recap?
I don't usually plan out my days because the word "premeditation" gets thrown around a lot in courts today.
by BD34 on Jan 22, 2011 6:40 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Comparing a made shot in basketball to having sex is actually pretty creative.
"Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too
close kissin his!"- Sir Charles to Kenny Smith.
by bone31crusher on Jan 22, 2011 6:31 PM CST up reply actions
Fuck it.
BD has got it.
"Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too
close kissin his!"- Sir Charles to Kenny Smith.
i'm gonna need
Some good first half notes, I’ll try to catch everything back up once I get back. I trust y’all to give me something to work with before I begin the man off.
I don't usually plan out my days because the word "premeditation" gets thrown around a lot in courts today.
by BD34 on Jan 22, 2011 7:02 PM CST via mobile reply actions
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