A Memo to Chandler Parsons
by grungedave on Dec 30, 2011 7:43 AM CST
in Whimsical Posts
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PrintMEMORANDUM
To: Chandler Parsons
From: The Dream Shake
Re: Your Jersey #
___________________
Dear Chandler,
We are all happy to have you as a member of the Houston Rockets. As the 38th overall selection in the 2011 NBA Draft, we do not find it too early to consider you yet another Daryl Morey "steal" of a non-lottery pick. You have even managed to outperform Marcus Morris so far in the eyes of Kevin McHale and pretty much anyone who (a) is not blind and/or (b) did not attend the University of Kansas.
In short, we like you and we really appreciate your contributions so far.
There is just one problem. And it's kind of a big deal.
It's about your uniform.
While I know you are quite fond of #25, it does not belong to you.
That's Robert Horry's number. We kindly have to request that you give it back. For it is rather insulting to Mr. Horry for you to walk around wearing his number, but unable to wear any championship rings as an accessory to it. If you did not know, Horry has seven of his own. Seven! Two with the Rockets. (Note: # of rings the Rockets had before Big Shot Rob? 0. # of rings the Rockets have after Big Shot Rob? 0. Sense a theme?)
So, please, for the sake of all that is good and right and holy -- find a new number.
Because Houston Rockets #25 will always belong to Robert Horry. You know, this guy:
Mr. Parsons, you are no Robert Horry. At least not yet.
Give him back his jersey! ***
*** which, by the way, should have been hanging from the rafters of the Toyota Center a long, long time ago.
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Give Chandler Parsons the 00.
I don’t know. I was too young to watch the 90s Rockets, I don’t fully understand the significance of Big Shot Rob, but I guess I’ll agree with you.
Sonicsgate: A movie about how the Sonics were stolen from Seattle.
That's my era of Rockets basketball...
I was there as a kid, every Playoff game, before-and-after shooting hoops all day, to watch them win both titles on TV. I even remember the Bonus Coverage (we called it “Bogus Coverage”) of the OJ Simpson chase.
You youngsters (and I mean that affectionately) probably don’t realize the impact that Horry was. He was really awesome, and a major contributor to the success of the Houston Rockets. If ever a role player should be a HoF candidate, it would be Horry….just look at the number of rings he has.
I also agree with GrungeDave…. that number should be retired. In fact, I think most numbers of our Rockets championship teams should be honored/retired in some way, shape, form, or fashion because that was one of the few times I’ve seen a Championship team almost fully stocked with role players. Now we live in a time where Championship teams aren’t stocked with role players, but stacked with stars.
Robert Horry was a great one.
by curtisrock on Dec 30, 2011 1:00 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
If Hakeem was the heart,
Horry was the soul of those teams.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
From the time Horry
did the slam follow on the missed free throw after starting outside the arc you knew he was something special. Good all around person too.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves
I loved Robert Horry as a Rocket, but let’s not forget he played the majority of his career elsewhere. I don’t begrudge his leaving. He had to make the right decisions for his career, but there is a reason his number was not retired. Had he stayed in Houston longer, I would undoubtedly agree with your point. But it would probably wouldn’t even be be necessary since his number would have been retired.
Keeping real talk alive.
It's not like Horry left Houston on his own accord
Also, the user agreement required you to acknowledge Horry’s greatness before you could comment here. Did you forget that already? ;-)
I'm with Mr. Harrel...
Horry was a key contributor to our beloved squad’s success…. HUGE impact role player.
I have another open letter to Chandler Parsons:
Dear Mr. Parsons,
First off, welcome to the team. Now, let’s get down to business:
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. He does NOT speak for the entire Rocket-Nation.
Look, I know what you are thinking after reading his post and I agree.
Robert Horry played very well for the Rockets during his time with the team. But he didn’t spend all that much time in Houston, considering the time he spent with other teams. So why is this Dave guy is fawning all over him when there are other great Rocket players who played with the team a lot longer? Who knows, maybe they are related somehow.
And yes, this man crush of Dave’s is getting a bit creepy… at least to me it is.
Such demonstrations of affection seem to be more appropriate for players of more elite status… guys like Hakeem or Clyde or Moses or heck, even Yao.
Horry was a very GOOD role player who also had the good fortune of playing on a lot of great teams. Said teams added him to fill a role and (to his credit) he did have many great moments. But he couldn’t put a team on his back every night and carry them. Guys like Hakeem, Clyde, Moses, and Yao could. That’s why those guys are already (or someday may be) in the Hall. If Horry ever makes it, it will be many, many years from now and almost certainly after these others have been in already for a long time.
In conclusion, I say keep the number. It’s yours now. Oh, by the way can you get a hold of Robert Horry and tell him to have his bodyguards watch the bushes around his home. You can never tell if some unwanted cuckoo bird will start building its nest in one of them.
Yours truly,
Rockets-Nation
.
I had to stop arguing with drunks, Steeler fans, and all other fools.
It was making my brick wall jealous...
.
Dedicated to the "Pride of the Steelers"
.
do you not remember the user agreement?
Insulting Robert Horry on this here blog (even if indirectly) is ban worthy.
Also, check the top right of the page. The purpose of this place is to shamelessly promote Robert Horry and get him into the HOF. Now how am I supposed to do that if Parsons is stealing his number?
I am NOT insulting Horry at all…
… I am also not gonna blindly kiss his tush, either.
He was a very good ballplayer. He played his role well and he was luckier than most to be on so many great teams. He did his part to help the team. But he was NOT the star on any of those teams. I’m giving the man his due. But (like it or not) Hakeem was the big star on those 2 championship teams and everyone knows it. Horry was very good but couldn’t carry a team like Hakeem could. That’s a cold, hard fact.
This is my honest opinion. If you are telling me that members of this blog are only to have opinions that are approved by the management only then go ahead and ban away.
I promise there will be no hard feelings on my part.
In fact, (if that does happen) I’ll be sure to make a point of
shaking your hand at the next beer hall putsch…
.
I had to stop arguing with drunks, Steeler fans, and all other fools.
It was making my brick wall jealous...
.
Dedicated to the "Pride of the Steelers"
.
by steeler-hater on Dec 30, 2011 12:39 PM CST up reply actions
dude
You really need to calm the F down.
Or at least turn on your sarcasm detector.
That said: I did find it amusing that you vociferously say that I do not speak for “Rocket-Nation”…… yet you somehow do. I never, ever claimed to speak for Rocket-Nation (too much “Clutchfans”-esque idiocy among the masses).
……… But I do speak for the Dream Shake, since, after all it is the blog I created and promoted oh so many years ago.
Trust me…
… when I wrote both of those posts my tongue was firmly in my cheek.
The problem with the written word is it isn’t as easy to sense that as it would be if you heard me actually speaking the words.
If you did hear me and see me, you’d notice how I was trying not to laugh…
.
I had to stop arguing with drunks, Steeler fans, and all other fools.
It was making my brick wall jealous...
.
Dedicated to the "Pride of the Steelers"
.
by steeler-hater on Dec 30, 2011 12:49 PM CST up reply actions
probably true
I just don’t speak the language of BE-SFs fans, so I am sure we’ll have translation/communication issues.
It's a blog
It’s not the most serious place in the world.
The Dream Shake: Dedicated to all things Houston Rockets. Past, present and future. Expect criticism, commentary and shameless promotions to get Robert Horry into the Hall of Fame.
Check out The Dream Shake.
by Patrick Harrel on Dec 30, 2011 12:49 PM CST up reply actions
It says “expect criticism”…
… and that is what I was doing: criticising… just in case people here couldn’t tell.
I am one of the least serious people on the planet. If you’d ever read some of the stuff I’ve wrote on the Music City Miracles blog you’d all know this…
.
I had to stop arguing with drunks, Steeler fans, and all other fools.
It was making my brick wall jealous...
.
Dedicated to the "Pride of the Steelers"
.
by steeler-hater on Dec 30, 2011 12:54 PM CST up reply actions
Why is Will Smith in a Robert Horry jersey?
by vanguard117 on Dec 30, 2011 11:38 AM CST reply actions 2 recs
Maybe Horry can get a job as Smith’s stand-in in the next MIB film that’s made…
.
I had to stop arguing with drunks, Steeler fans, and all other fools.
It was making my brick wall jealous...
.
Dedicated to the "Pride of the Steelers"
.
by steeler-hater on Dec 30, 2011 12:44 PM CST up reply actions
rec'd for WIll Smith!
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I love these type of posts.
Rec’d.
"Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too
close kissin his!"- Sir Charles to Kenny Smith.
:)
I am amused. One of the first thoughts I had when Chandler entered with #25 was, “Damn, Dave will have a cat, this should be fun.”
I say we challenge him to pursue the hopelessly futile task of matching the greatness of Robert Horry. Then, have a great time pointing out his futility.
Proceed with the shameless promotion. I see the Rockets have gotten into it. Last night a ticket package got you a signed Horry photo and he was at the game and got an interview.
See, after he went on his ring tour, he came home.
to be fair
the last guy to try to wear Horry’s number was Gerald Green. He did not have much luck trying to match Horry and fell apart under the weight of the expectations of #25.
He always put his balls on the line
The content of the text above is provided for information purposes only. No claim is made as to the accuracy or authenticity of the content. The troll does not accept any liability to any person for the information or advice (or the use of such information or advice) which is provided in the text above.
Damn. Most have been a tough cover drawing Malone before he filled out.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Jazz players...
Kicking people in the nuts since 1988
Seems as if
We are yelling at the wrong people. Parsons gets the number he is assigned. He is a low pick so he gets no say in it. Yell at the management who assigned the number.
Not being from Houston was RH always as good as he appears to have been or did he take a couple of years to develop?
Chandler has some pretty decent skills and might just be a new RH. Let’s hope so.
"Do not panic, all is well" Kevin Bacon in the parade scene in the movie Animal House
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