Just for Batman313, I have approached my "sources" who say Daryl Morey is up to something big...a trade so gigantic it would destroy the NBA with it's power and not even the Mighty Gay Stern could fathom it's plausibility.
Catchy isn't it?...I just wanted to be a complete douche and draw y'all in for this REALLY COOL trade Idea I has. SO like, my gf works at the toyota center and saw my post on DM's hair fetish and was like, dude, how'd you figure it out? and I was like "whaaaa?" and then she's like "yah, DM tottttallly has a crush on BIG men with dreads..." and I'm like:
and then she's like "yah, he like tottally has a trade Idea to get two more SUPERSTAR DREADMEN!!!!!"
ANd so here I is with my post about this tottally AWESOMESTARFISHTHINGAMAJIG tradepostthingy:
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=4re9xka
Obvi I used tah trade machine cuz it like totally rox (haha get it? ROX=ROCKETS HAHAHAHA) and like yah....
SO here's how it goes....
HOU gets:
via with-malice.com
Gerald Wallace, the ULTIMATE of DREADNAUGHTY BIG MEN...I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HIM....all lovin' himself and stuff...no wonder DM loves these naughty dreadmen....
via cache.nba.com
OMG ANDERSON VAREJAO!!!! or should I say ANDERSOME!!!!! HAHAHAHA....I'm sooo cool...Anyways, he's just so sexy with his LATINO-ness and his striking MODEL pose!!!! No wonder DM is after this ferocious DREADMAN....
another view?
via i.cdn.turner.com
OH MAN YAH!!! with the hair flowing...sooooooooo sexy mmhmm....DM probably just j****d....
The rest on this list: Roy, Jamison, and Camby are simply throw-ins to make salaries AND TALENT match....cuz our hole team is like superstar-stats...
Portland gets:
MICHAEL JORDAN!!!!!!! oh wait no...it's KEVIN MARTIN!!!! BUT SAME DIFFERENCE ANYWAYS RIGHT LOLZ!!!! He's the greatest player the NBA has ever seen but to get a player like Varejao or Wallace you gotta give up some shtuff...plus, he has no dreads so no on dis guy!
BALL HUMPER!!!!!!!!! IMEAN SCOLA!!!!! YAH LIKE I KNO THIS IS HARD FOR DM TO DO AND ALL CUZ HE's LIKE THE SEXIEST BALL HUMPER EVAR!!!!!! ESPECIALLY WITH HIS BIG MANLINESS AND LONGHAIR....BUT WE GET ANDERSOME SO IT'S LIKE A ++++++++++++++++++++++...GOODBYE SCOLAG...
Brad Miller....looks like and is such a BADASS on D and post-ups!!! BUT gotta let him go to get transcendent talent like Wallace and Varejao.
via samtoman.files.wordpress.com
DRAGIC!!!!! A SUPERSTAR PG NO DOUBT LIEK YAH......sucks to give up a guy who likes it in the a** so much....but DM KNOWS THAT THE DREADS ARE WORTH IT!!!!!
ANother view?
Others for Salaries: Patterson, Lee, and Lowry
Cleveland Gets:
via blog.mlive.com
DA BEAT!!!!! BABY!!!....This was the hardest choice of all for DM...putting him in was just needed tho to get Varejao's Talents here...I mean, losing a BIG BIG BIG GUY like that...especially one who like it THAT MUCH HE NEEDS TWO GUYS!!!!!! ONE RUBBING WITH HIS FULL ARM AND THE OTHER CAPPING IT OFF!!!
KATE WINSLET IN TITANIC!!!!!!!!! JUST KIDDING!!!! HAHA GOT YOU THERE DIDN'T I???? LULZ....It's actually CHASE BUDINGER!!!!! Starring alongside SASHA in BROKEBACK SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!! Once again, DM will be sacrificing some serious action but the DREADMEN are WORTH IT!!!!!!
FOR SALARIES: Chuck Hayes and Yao Ming.
SO LIEK There's my TRADE!!!!!!!!!!
WHY THEY WOULD DO IT?????
Hou: get the WONDERFUL TRANSCENDENTAL TALENT OF DREADS!!!!!!!!!!!
POR: WHy not?????
Cavs: MORE ACTION...BIGGER AND BETTER!!!!!!
TO ME THOUGH THE DEAL BREAKER IS Cavs....I Just don't think they and Por are getting enuff for their talents!!!!! If only we can offer our D-Leage to them...or maybe draft picks every other year forever? and TPE GALORE!!!!!
YAH@!!!!!
WHat do y'all think??? (HAHAHA GET IT? I SAID Y'ALLL, CUZ Y'ALLL From TX!!!! HAHAHAHA DID IT AGAIN!!!!)
Oh and to those who think it won't work kuz of the trade deadline and shtuffs....DM IS A FREKKIN' GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!! MASTER MAGICIAN....HE CAN DO IT!!!!!!