FanPost

Houston Rockets: A Soap Opera

(This is purely a work of fiction and is meant for entertainment purposes only. This simply means do not get your panties in a bunch. Also, I'm trying to be funny to lighten our overall situation with our distance between playoff berth growing further and further away.)

In the locker room after losing to the Phoenix Suns in a close hard fought match.

Rick Adelman: *Sleeping*

Terrence Williams: *Furiously using his phone to twitter away his lack of playing time, while listening to the song Born Free by Andy Williams*

Brad Miller: *Rubbing Icy Hot on his most likely arthritic joints and limbs*

A lingering silence grows as the acceptance of defeat slowly crawls into the room.

Brad Miller: (In his attempt to break the silence) So... Tough lost tonight guys.

Kyle Lowry: *Angrily glances over* Yeah, it was Mr. Point Guard.

Miller: What the hell is that suppose to mean?

Lowry: Why the hell do you have an extra 2 feet in height if all you want to do is my job?

Miller: Are you trying to pin this loss on me? If so, then I'm throwing Kevin Martin into the spot light.

DUN DUN DUN *Dramatic Soap Opera Cliche Song Thingy Whatever when someone typically reveals themselves to be not dead or related to you*

Kevin Martin: Hold up, you did not just throw me under the bus.

Miller: I just did homeboy. Mr. I can't play against someone who played a decade before me. You're nick name is Speed Racer, I don't see it.

Martin: Just because I had a bad shooting night, doesn't mean I cost us the game. At least I wasn't passing the other team the ball.

Luis Scola: *Is ignoring the bickering while drinking Tiger Blood and reading a script for a Dos Equis commercial*

Chuck Hayes: Hey guys, come on, this fighting isn't going to get us any closer to the play offs.

Martin: Yeah, so does having a 6'6 center starting for us every night.

*Glass breaking noise while complete silence erupts* Apparently, height is a very touchy subject for Chuck Hayes.

Hayes: Bitch, did I just hear what I think you just said?

Martin: You heard me, why the hell are you starting when we have Mr. Point Guard, and the new guy?

Hasheem Thabeet: *Turns his head towards the argument but stays quiet. He is currently drinking from a bottle of milk while being read a bed time story by one of our training staff members*

Chase Budinger: That's just cold Martin. He does his best every night.

Martin: Hold up, did my comment include you? I didn't think so Batti... I mean Bud.

*Gasp*

Budinger: God damn it, what does he have that I don't?! I try day in and day out, but you don't see me, you see him! Am I not good enough? WHY!? WHY?!?

Lowry: It's okay Battie... I mean Bud, you're just as valuable to us, maybe a little bit more than Miller.

Miller: Go to hell Lowry.

Lowry: That's what it feels like every time you get the ball.

Audience members: Oooooooooooh burn bitch!

Rick Adelman: *Slowly wakes up*

*Everyone stops as they glance towards their coach showing signs of life*

Lowry: I don't believe it, it just can't be. He never wakes up this early.

Martin: Maybe it's a sign! Maybe, it means we're going to get our act together and make the playoffs!

Terrence Williams: Maybe I can get more playing time! Because I ain't no experiment, homie.

Martin: Hell! I think even Hayes can get a growth spurt!

And the fighting starts all over again, while Rick Adelman slowly goes back to sleep, as the itch that was bothering him went away.

To be continued...

Patrick Patterson: Where the hell was I?

Goran Dragic: Hey! Me too?

Courtney Lee: Don't forget me, I should have been in there somewhere!

All Three: Whose responsible for this?!

Me: Uh... Daryl Morey.


No cursing in title. No pirated material, such as links to online game streams. Do not cut/paste entire sections of content from other websites. Thanks.

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