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Game 6 Recap: Slob City

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Rockets go down 117-89, but not before having a pre-game discussion that totally didn't happen. Also, I couldn't recap that game, not if I tried.

Star-divide

Kyle Lowry: Fellas. Big game tonight. Get geared, let's grab a W.

Kevin Martin: We've got to come out strong this time. Last night's loss was unacceptable.

Luis Scola: Y Tú Mama Tambien.

Terrence Williams: Hold up, hold up. I got a proposition. So you know we takin' on the Clippers right?

Jordan Hill: LOB CITY.

Kyle Lowry: Terrence, this really isn't the time...

Terrence Williams: Nah, listen. So I got some dudes hooked up in Vegas sayin' they ain't seen Lob City...

Jordan Hill: LOB CITY.

Terrence Williams: ... poppin' in some time. They lookin' for a little flash, know what I'm sayin'? They want that flash... they dish that cash.

Goran Dragic: You want throw game for money?

Terrence Williams: Nah, we're not gonna throw the game. I already explained the deal to my man Hasheem here. Tell 'em what's up, Hasheem.

Hasheem Thabeet: Throw game for money.

Terrence Williams: What he means is that Lob City...

Jordan Hill: LOB CIT--

Jeff Adrien spears Hill into a locker. Hill loses consciousness.

Terrence Williams: ... is only with the starting five. And Kyle, you guys played a ton of minutes last night and we got a ways to go 'fo we get some days off. So why not get some rest, let the Lob City flow... and give us some PT to grab that lead back atcha?

Jonny Flynn: Fuck it, I'm down.

Kyle Lowry: No.

Kevin Martin: Absolutely not.

Luis Scola: Cinco De Mayo.

Chase Budinger: I'll do it for twenty bucks.

Terrence Williams: You'll be getting a thousand if we do it right...

Chase Budinger: My offer stands unchanged.

Chandler Parsons: Bro, I'll give you twenty bucks to go eat a dick.

Jonny Flynn breaks down laughing.

Patrick Patterson: Aren't we dead last in the league in points in the paint this season anyway? Couldn't we just pawn it off on that as an excuse?

Samuel Dalembert: NO EXCUSES.

Kyle Lowry: Sam, when did you get here?

Samuel Dalembert: JUST NOW WHAT DID I MISS? HAD TO TALK TO MY INSURANCE AGENT ON THE PHONE AND IN-N-OUT BURGER WAS OPEN.

Kyle Lowry: Well, we're talking about strategy for tonight's game. Terrence has an idea to throw the game...

Terrence Williams: It's not throwing the game!

Kevin Martin: For the starters to throw the game...

Terrence Williams: #Wordaapp.

Kevin Martin: ...which we aren't going to do.

Kyle Lowry: Period.

Chandler Parsons: Bros? Are we quick to forget sound judgments such as those Mr. Patterson recently offered?

Patrick Patterson: We could legitimately do this and nobody would have a clue. We suck at defense.

Hasheem Thabeet: Hasheem have idea.

Everyone goes silent.

Kyle Lowry: What, uh... what's that, 'Sheem?

Hasheem Thabeet: Get cash, play hard, no tell difference.

Goran Dragic: Goran agree. All offense. Get cash, play hard, no tell difference.

Terrence Williams: You know, I kinda like the sound of that. You're saying I should tell my dude that we're gonna do it, but we're actually not gonna do it, but we're gonna kind of do it because we can't stop it anyway so he'll think we actually did it.

Hasheem Thabeet: That what Hasheem say.

Chandler Parsons: We doin' this trick, dudes?

Chase Budinger: I rescind my offer of twenty bucks. I also vote for Hasheem's idea.

Patrick Patterson: Seconded.

Luis Scola: Tres.

Kyle Lowry: Luis, dawg... it ain't like you were gonna stop Blake Griffin anyway, let's be real.

Kevin Martin: So, is that it? Are we going to do this? Kyle, you've got the final word.

Kyle Lowry: How much we making?

Terrence Williams: Bout twelve grand total.

Kyle Lowry: Oh fuck it, pencil me in.

Kevin McHale enters the locker room.

Kevin McHale: Hey men, big game tonight.

Team: Yes sir.

Kevin McHale: Hey, you guys ever heard of a guy named Robert Parrish?

Team: Yes sir.

Kevin McHale: Hey, you guys ever heard of a guy named Larry Bird?

Team: Yes sir.

Kevin McHale: Hey, you guys ever heard of a guy named Joe Mauer?

Team: No sir.

Kevin McHale: Now go out there and get it done!

Kyle Lowry: Okay guys, you know the drill.

Jordan Hill wakes up.

Jordan Hill: LOB CITY!?!

Kevin Martin: Kyle, we forgot to tell Jordan the gameplan.

Kyle Lowry: You know, somehow, I think he'll catch on.

Comment 33 comments  |  2 recs  | 

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Offense

we have none of that either :(

We really sucked bad last night.

by curtisrock on Jan 5, 2012 11:48 AM CST up reply actions  

Lob City!

thanks for

Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?

by Rocket94 on Jan 5, 2012 12:18 AM CST via Android app reply actions  

fail

the laugh… now I’m going to facepalm myself to sleep

Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?

by Rocket94 on Jan 5, 2012 12:18 AM CST via Android app up reply actions  

That recap explains quite a bit. Seems like a really low amount of money though.

I just read that there are “proposal coordinators” – people who will orchestrate your marriage proposal for cash.

I’m too disgusted to type more.

"Each in turn... volunteered his suggestions, his invaluable suggestions."

Twitter
The Dreamshake

by Xiane on Jan 5, 2012 12:29 AM CST reply actions  

Clips are an interesting team to try to defend

My Blazers already learned that. If your offense can’t keep you in the game early and their offense is clicking, you’re toast. Hopefully, that means the Clips sink in the playoffs, with the slow, defensive style.

Btw, I just wanted to come over and say that Kyle Lowry is a beast. As a huge Andre Miller fan (one of the most underrated players in recent memory), Lowry is by far the most underrated guard in the league, possibly the most underrated player, period. It looks like he had an off night tonight, and yet he still put up a line that’s at least respectable. If he doesn’t make the ASG this year (and I doubt he will, unless the Rockets go on a big win streak), it will be as big of a snub as LaMarcus last year, if not bigger. He’s like the Dwight Howard, Gerald Wallace, or Andre Igoudala of point men. Only with a 3pt shot!

PS, you guys should trade him to us for Jamal Crawford ;) I’m kidding…but seriously…

Phase 1: Collect underpants
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!

by HailOden! on Jan 5, 2012 1:03 AM CST reply actions  

let's make a deal

TDS votes for Aldridge, Matthews, and Wallace for the ASG, and BE can vote for Lowry.

by Only_A_Lad on Jan 5, 2012 1:05 AM CST up reply actions  

I'd do it for Aldridge and Wallace (no Matthews), but I dunno about the rest of BE

Ray “Cupcake” Felton might be starting to endear himself to BEdgers.

Phase 1: Collect underpants
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!

by HailOden! on Jan 5, 2012 1:20 AM CST up reply actions  

Rec'd for the laugh

I just jumped on to make fun of how sloppy we were tonight, as well. Gotta laugh when it gets this bad.

by Slackary on Jan 5, 2012 1:14 AM CST reply actions  

contributor at clips nation here

was a little disappointed, because I wanted to get an idea of how an opponent felt after a game, but this had me laughing out loud. Especially the Scola, Thabeet, and Dalembert lines.

by LJ Hann on Jan 5, 2012 3:41 AM CST reply actions  

Stop by tomorrow

We’ll probably be feeling a bit more rational by then :)

The Dream Shake ...on Twitter.
"I think girls are probably just better shooters." - Steve Novak

by Tom Martin on Jan 5, 2012 3:46 AM CST up reply actions  

Only saw first half but quick thoughts

Chris Paul is awesome. The way he penetrates so deep into the paint with each pick and roll. The only other person who does this is Steve Nash but Nash is always going through there quick and while he makes nice passes, he makes some bad ones as well. Chris Paul on the other hand, penetrates so slowly and methodically it is amazing to watch. It seems like he has all the time in the world. His mind just seems to process things very fast.

For example, on one defensive play when Blake was getting killed by Scola early in the game, Griffin tried a complete flop. While the refs didn’t call it, Scola paused for a split second because Griffin randomly flopped and it somehow registered in CP3’s head and he immediately swiped the ball away.

I also think CP3 has the fewest bad passes out of anyone I’ve ever seen. Like when Miami’s big 3 came together last year they had huge turnover problems because of chemistry issues. CP3 from day 1 looks like he was drafted by the Clippers.

Lowry is not on that control the game adn make everything look easy level but he’s balling like an all star. He took some deep Aaron Brooks type 3s but made them. Nice to see.

Jordan Hill has been terrible. I feel like he’s not even there adn the only time I notice him is when he’s making a mistake. He’s the anti-Nic Collison/Chuck Hayes who is everywhere on every play.

Dalembert likes to have the ball in his hands and do 1-2 bad moves every game but he’s big and has skills.

Kevin Martin’s defense seems to have improved a little bit but he’s getting a lotta ticky tack fouls on him. Offensively, he’s still missing some wide open looks but is doing ok at creating for himself. He does seem to travel every game.

IMO, we need Dalembert to start and let T-Will run the 2nd unit like T-Mac does in Atlanta. Whenever T-Will has the ball I at least feel like something’s gonna happen and he’s gonna try and make a play.

And I’m gonna get back to work now.

Awesome write up. I lol’d.

by VBG on Jan 5, 2012 9:10 AM CST reply actions  

I think any chance of show casing any trade assets just flew out the window

You would think anyone on the Rockets who played after halfway through the 3rd quarter would want to play hard and smart to earn playing time. TOTALY NOT what happened.

Johnny Flynn looked like trash. T-Will became the old guy that didnt care (cant even make his free throws!). Thabeet looks like he is running with ice skates….his feet never leave the floor, its very strange!!! Adrien looked like a D-Leaguer, and how is the hell is Dally still only 40% in shape?

Fuck the NBA refs….and FUCK DAVID STERN.

Martin, Scola and Budinger cant all be starting together. Its impossible to have a good defensive team with those 3 starting and an PF starting at center.

On the good side: Patterson kinda found his shot tonight, im sure he will get better. Parsons is starting to look a little bit more comfortable out there and a soild contributor off the bench.

by Texas08 on Jan 5, 2012 9:20 AM CST reply actions  

Only watched the first half.

It was bad. The 2 main problems to me though were:

1)Defensive Rebounding, sure we did help on Blake with the other big man, but it seemed like a lot of the time they would put up a shot and they would grab the rebound. No team can let that happen and win.

2)Not taking care of the ball. We took some bad shots, and turned the ball over. Period. Everyone was at fault for it, Kevin Martin took some bad shots in the first half early in the shot clock that he shouldn’t of even thought about taking. Kyle Lowry, albeit he made the shots, took some absolutely mind boggling 3s, especially that one where it seemed like he was 5 feet behind the top of the key. We turned the ball over and Lob City went on the break, they’re probably one of the hardest break teams to stop. They played fast pace and we just couldn’t keep up.

Let the Rockets get some good rest and let’s look forward to the next game.

Dallas and Houston fan making it work. Gig 'em!

by OJ ATM on Jan 5, 2012 9:25 AM CST reply actions  

Turns overs really killed the Rockets

They played very sloppy and it led to easy buckets for the Clippers.

by Texas08 on Jan 5, 2012 9:29 AM CST up reply actions  

For those who wanted it,this is what Tanking looks like

and it looks like this night after night after night….

by Tisbee on Jan 5, 2012 10:42 AM CST reply actions  

Negative

Tanking implies an action that is intentional and tends to be initiated at an organizational level for the goal of achieving a higher position in the draft. However, it also hinges on maintaining the facade of competitiveness, which was non-existent last night. This is not tanking. This is good old fashioned shitty play from some uninspired players.

"Listen here you beautiful bitch, I'm about to fuck you up with some truth" - Kenny Powers

by A.J. G on Jan 5, 2012 11:14 AM CST up reply actions   1 recs

You haven't watched teams that are tanking very much

Once the players realize the Organization IS tanking,they don’t give a rat’s behind for anything other than their own stats. They bail out on defense,don’t cover for each other,go gunning for shots and just don’t care. They know they won’t be back and believe if they have some shiny individual stats they can find a spot elsewhere.

I don’t believe the Clips game was a result of the Rockets tanking. I think they were drained from competing hard against the Lakers and the residual fatigue of 5 games in 7 days. Plus they definitely missed the energy Lee brings,both on offensive and defensive ends.

BUT,last night is the type of game you will get night after night after night from a team that knows it’s tanking. My point was-and is-that these type of games become the norm for tanking teams. All the locker-room talk about trying to win,competing hard,etc stays in the locker-room. Tanking teams play “good old fashioned shitty” ball every d*** night. And that is the main reason I’ve been against tanking when we talked about it in the off-season. It’s so damn hard to watch and never any fun.

by Tisbee on Jan 5, 2012 11:36 AM CST up reply actions  

agreed

I’d probably try to salvage some of the money I spent on LP if the team went into full-on tanking mode.

by sohum on Jan 6, 2012 3:51 PM CST up reply actions  

This was a great Recap

As I’ve long-said, my in-laws are huge Laker fans and the other night was somewhat embarrassing. The Laker fans are a little scared of the Clippers these days, so I was hoping to bust up the Clips last night to show them we are somewhat legit.

It was pretty much a poor performance on both ends.

The best part of this Recap was T-Will “#wordaapp.” I’m still waiting on a shoutout from him!

by curtisrock on Jan 5, 2012 11:51 AM CST reply actions  

Thoughts on Rockets

Lowry is a very good PG. Paul is a great PG,there is a huge difference.

Kevin Martin is trying to adapt and being more aggressive. Man is it painful to watch.

Bud is Bud. In an iso offense that the Rockets are devolving into,he’s not very effective. In a motion one he can be quite effective.

Terrence Williams will never be a star.(And a dream/hope/prayer dies.) He cannot finish at the rim and he cannot make quality passes that players get and can immediately go into shooting motion. He can get into the lane at will,but has no idea what to do once there.

Parsons should be our Sixth Man for the rest of the decade. Instead he’s 2 Bud 0-fer games away from starting.

McHale doesn’t trust his bigs. When did the Big Man Whisperer morph into Don Nelson?

Looks like all the worry over Patterson getting his minutes w/Scola around were wasted. They’ll likely end up spending most games teamed up.

Finally,Blake Griffin was guarded by Terrence Williams for a decent stretch. So Mr NEXT BIG THING,how the eff did you not destroy T-Will in the post? First possesion,four feet from rim,passed it out-TWICE! Other three,ignored once w/ball going to other side-way to show your PG acumen Mo!-one soft turn and weak flip that barely grazed the rim and one reverse and shot that went in.

by Tisbee on Jan 5, 2012 11:55 AM CST reply actions  

I think Lowry may not be @ Paul’s level, but he’s right there and healthier. You have Rose and Paul and then the next tier Rondo, Westbrook and Lowry and I think Lowry has the most desire and aptitude out of that group to grow (remember 3 years ago this kid couldn’t shoot).

I think we’ll see a huge difference in the team once we start to play a few inferior teams. We’ve had to have A games each day just to compete with the teams we’ve played. Once we have a game or 2 where we can breathe and players aren’t under so much pressure will help a ton. If the Rockets can keep treading water, once this incredibly tough stretch is done, we’ll be better.

by Christopher Dion Harris on Jan 5, 2012 12:56 PM CST via iPhone app up reply actions  

Boom.

Your point on Terrence Williams…

He can get into the lane at will,but has no idea what to do once there.

… is incredibly valid.

The Dream Shake ...on Twitter.
"I think girls are probably just better shooters." - Steve Novak

by Tom Martin on Jan 5, 2012 2:43 PM CST up reply actions  

LA local who was live at the game

First time I’ve gotten to see the team this season.

They don’t play with the same heart and grit that made last season so successful.

It’s going to be a long and rough season.

Fight On! Beat everybody but us!

by USCLink on Jan 5, 2012 1:10 PM CST reply actions  

Wait I'm confused.

Which team was successful last season, The Clippers, Lakers, or Rockets?

Dallas and Houston fan making it work. Gig 'em!

by OJ ATM on Jan 5, 2012 1:15 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

i was at the game

It was no better in person than it looked on tv. Although cocky clippers fans are interesting and unusual. Kinda like an annoying unicorn. I didn’t have the heart to remind them nobody ever re-signs with sterling, but the many lakers fans in attendance did repeatedly. Cocky kameez fans are a dime a dozen.

by thatguyisgood on Jan 5, 2012 1:21 PM CST via mobile reply actions  

kameez should be lakers

Not sure what auto-correct did there

by thatguyisgood on Jan 5, 2012 1:23 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

At the game yesterday, disappointing loss.

The Rockets just looked a bit gassed from their previous game with the Lakers, and combined with the Clippers’ otherworldly shooting to start the game, the good guys just couldn’t hang in there.

A couple interesting points I observed in the game:

-Chandler Parsons actually has hops! He had 2 offensive rebound/putback slams in the night, perhaps channeling a bit of what Blake and Jordan normally do. Otherwise, he was a solid contributor and made the most of his garbage time.

-Hasheem Thabeet shouldn’t try fancy stuff. Like sailing in for offensive rebounds/putback slams. I like his creativity, but not his execution, as both times he fumbled those rebounds badly which resulted in turnovers. Just focus on doing the simple things first, Hasheem, like grabbing the rebound and kicking it out to reset.

I also noticed a sequence of events I found to be hilarious. It involved Blake getting fouled on a drive to the basket, but after the whistle blew, he was still trying to get the ball into the hoop. Dalembert is on the court for Houston, and I guess he takes offense to what Blake is doing, and swats Blake’s latest attempt out of the air. Blake is then immediately up Sammy’s face, and officials rush in to break them up. Thankfully, no technicals were called, but I believe Blake was trying to be seen as a ‘tough guy’ in this case. Either way, funny stuff, but tough loss.

by Valiant1 on Jan 5, 2012 1:46 PM CST reply actions  

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