Houston Rockets-Dallas Mavericks preseason game preview

Ralph Orlowski - Bongarts/Getty Images

The Rockets travel to Dallas for their first true road game of the preseason.

I'm so tempted to just write "Jason Terry is no longer a Maverick" and be done with this preview.

You see, JASON TERRY IS NO LONGER A MAVERICK!!!!

As for the Mavs, they've practically overhauled their own roster, bringing in Elton Brand, Chris Kaman, Darren Collison, O.J. Mayo, and added some rookies too. They started the season against Euro teams in Berlin and Barcelona, splitting the games 1-1.

Matchups:

PG: Jeremy Lin vs. Not Jeremy Lin

Last time I check, Darren Collison isn't Jeremy Lin. So he must suck.

And Russell Westbrook scored those points because Lin's teammates didn't help him. Everyone knows there's no such thing as 1-on-1 defending in the NBA.

SG: Kevin Martin vs. Not Jason Terry

Likewise, O.J. Mayo isn't Jason Terry. So he must suck.

Ahem...Jason Terry is no longer a Maverick. Last time, I swear. Nah, I'm lying.

SF: Chandler Parsons vs. Shawn Marion

And it will be a defensive showcase! Are you not entertained?

But seriously, it will be interesting to see Parsons against a "good" defender. Looking forward to this matchup.

PF: Patrick Patterson vs. Dirk Nowitzki

Another test on defense for the team. Patterson had better get used to this, because we'll see Dirk four times every year. The key for him will be to post up Dirk himself and try to take advantage of Dirk's inability on defense.

C: Omer Asik vs. Chris Kaman

While Kaman and Dirk reminisce about the old country, Asik (Ah-sheek? Is that what we're going with?) will show them that Turkey is what it's all about. After all, Taken 2 doesn't take place in Germany. It takes place is Istanbul.

Players to watch: Dallas Mavericks

Dominique Jones Rodrigue Beaubois: Every year, he's the next superstar on the team. Every year, he does nothing.

Delonte West: How many new tattoos does he have? The neck is covered, but has he expanded into the face? Big questions surrounding West this season start with the ink.

Jared Cunningham: They traded Tyler Zeller for three players, and Cunningham is the guy they took first. How good is this guy?

Bernard James: One of the other rookies, he served in the military in the Middle East before coming back stateside and picking up basketball. Really.

Players to watch: Houston Rockets

Royce White: If he plays, that is. Will he spontaneously combust? Will he throw a hissy fit before he has to get on the plane? Does he pull directly onto the court in his Rolls Royce? Don't tell me that these things don't matter, because Jason Terry is no longer a Maverick.

Gary Forbes/Shaun Livingston: Only two players finished with a positive +/- against the Spurs: these two. Granted, I don't care much about single-game +/-, so this is a cop out.

JASON TERRY IS NO LONGER A MAVERICK!!!!!!!!!1!!!!one!!!!!!

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