A holiday wish list for every Houston Rocket

USA TODAY Sports

It's sponsored post time, and this one gives us a chance to play Santa and assign each of the Houston Rockets a gift for the holidays.

It's the holiday season, and with that in mind, we at the Dream Shake are giving out Christmas ideas for all the Rockets. We hope you enjoy!

Daryl Morey

BlackBerry External Battery

As we talked about earlier this week, it's the beginning of trade season, so Daryl Morey's phone has to be ringing off the hook with people trying to acquire young players like Royce White Terrence Jones and Donatas Motiejunas. Given that we're not sure if Morey sleeps, it makes sense for him to have an external battery so he can be going at all times.

Jeremy Lin

That Book about Harvard: Surviving the World's Most Famous University, One Embarrassment at a Time

Usually, when somebody goes to Harvard, they have every advantage in the world. Harvard is the most internationally recognized university in the world, and the connections people have simply by going there are numerous.

Except in basketball. Lin is one of the few people in his class at Harvard that did not benefit greatly from going to an Ivy League school. Nobody thought he was worth a draft pick because he had always faced inferior competition, and when he made it few had confidence in his ability to last. So, let's help Lin out by teaching him how to succeed in this world despite his Harvard education.

James Harden

Industrial Back Lumbar Support Lift Work Brace

Harden has been carrying quite the load this season, and one has to wonder whether his back is starting to get sore. Fortunately enough, Amazon has a wonderful lumbar support brace for all the heavy lifting!

Chandler Parsons

8' Beer Pong Table w/ Speakers

Definitely the chillest item you can get your chillest bro for the holidays. Not only is it super chill with its graphics, it has speakers built in! That way, when you want to chill out to some sweet Dave Matthews while you play a game of pong, you don't even need to pull out other speakers, they're right there!

And yes, if you were wondering, I'm pretty sure Parsons' shooting ability translates well to pong. As in, get that guy on your team unless you want to lose.

Patrick Patterson

Height Increasing Elevator Shoes

Seriously Patrick, if you were just two inches taller I'm pretty sure people would be putting away those pitchforks and just let you be without calling for your trade every time Terrence Jones makes a layup.

Omer Asik

Pete Newell's Big Man Moves and Skill Development

I'm sorry Omer, not all of us love your bizarre reverse layup routine that occasionally works but looks FREAKING CRAZY 100% of the time. Maybe this will be of some use.

Greg Smith

Big and Tall Fleece Gloves

Greg Smith has some of the largest hands in the NBA. These gloves, according to the sizing chart, come in up to 9XL!!! Seems like a pretty good fit.

Carlos Delfino

Shooter (Widescreen Edition)

If I have to explain this to you, you haven't watched must Rockets basketball this year.

Daequan Cook

*see above gift*

Marcus Morris

*see above gift*

Cole Aldrich

Rick Steves' European Guidebook

He's not playing, so he might as well get prepped for next season while he's just sitting on the bench, right?

Donatas Motiejunas

Greyhound Bus Gift Certificate

I know, too easy, but methinks this is going to be a year of back and forth for Motiejunas, who doesn't have a clear path to playing time, especially when Patterson returns from injury.

Scott Machado

Compete Outside the Box: The Unconventional Way to Beat the Competition

Before the season, Scott Machado was quoted as saying that that he thought he could take Jeremy Lin's job from him within a year. Now, Machado finds himself toiling away in the D-League, playing fairly average basketball.

If Machado wants to make a career for himself, he's going to have to absolutely kill it in the D-League, giving the Rockets no choice but to call him up. At this point, he's not even close to there.

Terrence Jones

Keeping up with the Kardashians Complete DVD Set: Seasons 1, 2 and 3

Let's look at Terrence Jones. He's long, athletic, can dribble and pass, and he's left-handed. All he needs to become Lamar Odom is a Kardashian and a trade to LA. With the first three seasons of Keeping up with the Kardashians (at just $24.99!), he can begin to figure out how to court them.

Toney Douglas

Linspired: The Remarkable Rise of Jeremy Lin

Last year, we watched Jeremy Lin make a tremendous leap from a nobody into a star. Watching Toney Douglas go from being arguably the worst player in the NBA to a valuable role player, one has to wonder if he can make that same leap.

My suggestion? Read Linspired, and be Linspired to greatness. After reading it, I won my rec league championship*, and I'd have to imagine that TD would enjoy similar greatness after reading this.

Or maybe not. It's still worth a shot.

Royce White

Coal

*Disclaimer: Completely untrue

What'd we leave out? Let us know in the comments what you would get for the Rockets!

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