Apparently, the Houston Rockets can't find any Knicks who will accept Jeremy Lin's offer sheet. They've searched high and low, far and wide, and yet they still hold in their hands an envelope that must reach Knicks GM Glen Grunwald.

I'm not joking, by the way. Read along for yourself, as Jonathan Feigen tells us the wonderous story of how the red basketball team couldn't find its friend from the blue basketball team. There are no morals to this story, actually, as it's mostly stupid and flat out ridiculous.

Start from the bottom:

OK, so this is actually happening? This isn't a joke?

Looks like some people who work in professional offices for a living actually grew up and got down to business.

JUST KIDDING.

That's it. Rockets fans, of all shapes, sizes and ages: Grab yer pitchforks, gather yer steeds — we've got some Knickerbockers to find and we ain't got much time to do it! GRUNSANITY!