TDS Writer Scouting Report Version 1.5

Behold, the finest bloggers the world has ever known! - Jeremy Brevard-USA TODAY Sports

Other sites may off NBA player previews and scouting reports, but only TDS offers Writer Previews and Scouting Reports

Welcome to the first annual, and possibly only. TDS Writer Preview and Scouting Report.  While other site may spend their time previewing NBA players for the coming season, who but TDS will preview its writers for you?  You'll be spending a lot of time with us, and we thought maybe a pre-season writer preview and scouting report would be in order.

This is version 1.0 because it does not include all the TDS writers at the time.  This is a quasi-group effort and timing of the effort is not entirely coordinated, but on the eve of the first real games of the NBA season, it seemed time to release what we have.  More may be added, depending on other writers.

Also, reader, if you feel like writing your own previews of the writers listed here, TDS writers not listed here, or other posters, feel free, but keep it sweet, and hopefully, funny.  No axe-grinding, score-settling, grudge-nursing.

Remember, no other site delivers what TDS does. Whatever that may be.

NOW WITH ADDED PATRICK HARREL!!

Note to other TDS writers - I've written 5 6 of these, if you want the complete set, write some and add them.

grungedave

College: Southern Methodist University

From: Houston, TX

Drafted: 5/16/2008

Posts: 754

Comments: 4241

NBA Equivalent: Point Guard

Comparisons: Steve Blake, Robert Horry, Steve Blake, Joey Dorsey, Luis Scola, Steve Blake, Rafer Alston, Steve Blake

Nickname: grungedave, UrFounder

Scouting Report:

+Creative blogger, with a versatile game

+All time TDS leader in posts

+ Gets in the heads of other players, makes his words come out of their mouths

+Notorious trash talker, funny guy, lead TDS in technicals before BD34 drafted

+Some speculate long absences from TDS for reasons not unlike Michael Jordan's baseball hiatus

+Has maintained elite skills well into his mature period.

+Steadfastly rejects waiting period, cussing rules and other such weak kneed policies for TDS

+Trolled before the term was coined.  Old school game.

+Strong stance on Fair Use may propel him to the top of Bloggers Union.

+Smells Like Teen Spirit

Capsule: Sometimes called The Kim Jong Il of Rockets Bloggers, Dave still boasts a fierce on site presence.   He isn't afraid to call out the opposition, and rarely resorts to banhammer to get results.  Crafty handles and good long-range shooting techniques keep his game fresh on the increasingly rare occasion he takes the court.  One of TDS' many "Locker Room  Lawyers".  Like UofTOrange, will see his TDS jersey hung from rafters one day.  Takes credit for the removal of Rafer Alston. Will take credit if Robet Horry reaches HoF.

UofTOrange

College: The University of Texas

From: Houston, TX

Drafted: 8/22/2008

Posts: 560

Comments: 5671

NBA Equivalent: Power Forward

Comparisons: Otis Thorpe, Horace Grant, Kevin McHale, Kevin Love, Kevin Duckworth

Nickname: Beloved Founder

Scouting Report:

+Dreamshake founder with deep fundamental blogging skills

+2nd all-time TDS post leader

+Close relations with Rockets front office suggest future in coaching, PR

+Work rate has fallen steeply in recent years with family, work interest conflicts outside TDS

+Good locker room presence, veteran leadership, calming influence.

+Skills undiminished when he takes the court, but injuries, life outside blogging heavily limits appearances, minutes

+Check out those ticket offers!

Capsule: UofTOrange is a wily veteran.  His minutes have fallen steadily over the years, but his influence on the expansion and success of The Dreamshake franchise is undeniable.  Latter of two "Beloved Founders", UofTOrange looks to have his jersey hung from the virtual rafters when he finally decides to hang ‘em up.  Like Dirk Nowitzki, and Tim Duncan, he will play for The Dreamshake until he decides not to.  A strong veteran leader, his presence is welcome in crunch time.

Xiane

College: St. John's, University of Texas

From: Houston

TDS Drafted 10/30/2008

Posts: 239

Comments: 24,029

NBA Equivalent: Point Guard

Comparisons: Steve Nash, Aaron Brooks, Calvin Murphy, Mark Price, Steve Kerr, Mugsy Bogues, Earl Boykins, Nate Robinson, The Other Isaiah Thomas

Nickname: Shane, Wino, Xian

Scouting Report:

+Creative poster, unstoppably prolific commenter, unlimited range

+Creator of TDS/SBN's only sonnet, D&D alignment game recap, playoff previews

+Often takes role of floor general in comments sections

+All time TDS writer leader in comments

+Can be obscure, recondite, flashy, but doesn't show up for every game

+Posting has slowed from initial seasons but still contends for comment title every season

+Hates and avoids blog equivalent of defense - previews, recaps, service pieces, but will show hard on the big recaps. Dutiful recapper in lean TDS years.

+Most veteran non-founder still actively writing for TDS, still found grinding in game thread trenches.

Capsule: Along with TDS & KATC's Tom Martin, and AK2THEMAX, Xiane helped keep TDS going in the lean years as Yao and McGrady's careers collapsed and afterwards.  Like AK, remains on the blog to see the reward of new Rockets contender. Reported to camp fired up and with a great attitude after relocating to the Northwest.  Strong attachment to Morey regime, statistical analysis and ability to talk wine with Les Alexander has kept this erratic poster/commenter relevant to TDS & Rockets plans.  Incredibly excited about 13-14 season.

Mike Kerns

College: University of Houston

From: Houston, TX

TDS Drafted: 12/30/08

Posts: 384

Comments: 8802

NBA Equivalent: Small Forward

Comparisons: Dominique Wilkins, Rodney McCrae, Sasha Vujacic, Luke Walton, Paul Pierce, Metta World Peace

Nickname: Beerman, Houatl, Mike

Scouting Report

+Multisport poster, now focusing full time on basketball after inevitable Texans disappointment

+Divided loyalties with Houston, Atlanta may anger some

+Prolific scorer on Twitter

+Allegedly skilled in white collar crime, accounting fraud, so has career prospects beyond Dreamshake

+Consistent podcasting skills make him a versatile player

+Transition from heavy metal to dubstep questioned by many.

Capsule: Once highly productive overall, but basketball intensity has slipped notably in recent seasons, as Kerns has flirted with football, other websites, twitter, Atlanta, pop culture, beer, Game of Thrones, beer and twitter, with a special focus on beer and twitter.  Some question dedication to Rockets with outspoken commitment to family, work.  Reported to camp this season in "best shape of his career" but this new-found focus on the Rockets seems highly coincidental with Dwight Howard signing.  If properly motivated, expect a prolific output.

AK2THEMAX

College: Texas Tech

From: Houston, TX

TDS Drafted: 2/14/09

Posts: 331

Comments: 6131

Nickname: The Doctor

NBA Equivalent: Center

Player Comps: Tim Duncan, Hakeem, Moses Malone, Robert Parish, Arvydas Sabonis

Scouting Report

+ Preview writer of astonishing, Duncanesque consistency skill and professionalism

+ Cool demeanor in threads does not mask enthusiasm

+ Able to treat serious injuries, illnesses, prescribe drugs

+ Doesn't exhibit much range beyond previews in the post, but brings the preview thunder night after night

+ Steady presence kept TDS posting and relevant when the team was at a low ebb.

+ Now ready to reap the rewards of steady play as TDS goes into serious contention.

Capsule: AK2THEMAX has brought an arsenal of low-post preview techniques over the years, and reliably shows up for every game with a solid effort.  Despite residing in the Permian Basin for years, and going to med school, AK has kept his focus on true priorities, like The Rockets and TDS. Rarely gets into disputes, and has won the J Walter Kennedy SBN Citizenship Award numerous times.  Despite the relatively short productive careers of most SBN bloggers, AK shows no sign of slowing down.  TDS is rife with argumentative lawyers, AK sometimes has to settle the team down, and brings the calming influence of a cool man of science.  Look for another year of 20/10 Preview Post Production for TDS.

BD34

College: Elmira

From: New York

TDS Drafted: 2/09/09

Posts: 154

Comments: 18812

Nickname: NSFW

NBA Equivalent: Point Forward

Player Comps: Kevin Garnett, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Webber

Scouting Report

+ Jack-of-all-trades writer and commenter

+ Gives as good as he gets in comments

+ Can defend multiple positions and legal cases

+ Has been known to get under others' skin, and understands the value of that ability

+ Willing to play with superstars, but can explode at a moment's notice with comments and posts

+ Absolute gym rat; always works his butt off

- Cannot guess stats to the first decimal point, but only Skip Bayless cares

Capsule: BD34 only cares about one thing: winning. He can score 40 or he can score 4; it doesn't matter unless his team gets the W. He's willing to get grimy in the land of the trolls and usually comes away unscathed. He can work within a number of systems and has fantastic range: opinions, news, game recaps, and can fill in for the center position when AK gets injured. His comment output is rapidly approaching 20,000, which would make him the charter member of the exclusive club. Absolutely someone you want in your locker room from a chemistry and humor standpoint. He's an ironman, and his mere presence gives the team the look of a contender.

Patrick Harrel

College: Princeton

From: Houston, TX

TDS Drafted: 6/7/10

Posts: 336

Comments: 6450

NBA Equivalent: Small Forward

Comparisons: Bill Bradley, Steve Goodrich, Armond Hill, Brian Taylor, Butch Vanbreadakolff

Nickname: Managing Editor, No Nickname

Scouting Report:

+Like Tom Martin before him, came aboard right out of high school, with TDS level chops.

+Not afraid to do the dirty work down low - injury reports, news items, recaps, trades

+Acts as a point forward, directing the team from the wings.

+Precociously prolific output given his age.

+One of several TDS writers to have sung "Hail St Johns" in anger.

+Worries that university life will distract him from what is truly important have proven unfounded thus far.

Capsule: Brings a cerebral, business-like approach, much like Jeremy Lin.  Also like Jeremy Lin, involved in public bromance with Chandler Parsons.  Harrel is willing to grind everyday on any kind of post, showing great range and versatility. TDS has surprised other blogs by appointing its editors just out of high school, but they've turned out much like Kevin Garnett, and Dwight Howard.  It may also be that it is easier to convince enthusiastic high school phenoms to do a largely thankless job.  Be that as it may, writing for TDS is known worldwide as "the path to eternal greatness, limitless wealth and hot, hot, love" and Patrick Harrel is bossing it. Is scooping up all the rich rewards that come with being managing editor.

3PointsTheHardenWay

College: Missouri State/Wake Forest

From: Houston by way of Little Rock, Arkansas

Drafted: 2/27/13

Posts: 14

Comments: 220

NBA Equivalent: Shooting Guard

Comparisons: Jeremy Lamb, Bradley Beal, Victor Oladipo, Ben McLemore

Nickname: The Protégé

Scouting Report:

+ Raw talent with a sleek skillset

+ The right kind of intangibles just looking for the game to come together

+ Flashes of brilliance that more exposure will hone into consistent impact

+ A little timid in carving out his own spot on the roster

+ Some technical errors in his game have held him back but needs more opportunities to move past it

Capsule: This promising rookie was drafted early on in the year with some lofty expectations. He was thrown into the fire immediately in a club that was built to win now with a few question marks. A new head coach at the helm and some stable veterans offering to help coax him along slowly can only help refine his development. Has a slender build that could stand to put some muscle on the frame but he makes the most of what he's got... ladies. Once more minutes clear up at his roster spot and some confidence develops, look out. Until then, expect solid production off the bench and stud production once injury or trade occurs.

Most alarming career achievement: Getting the business from some faulty speakers during his chance to shine. Ultimately this resulted in a bunch of men staring awkwardly at him at odd angles, not all of them flattering.

OJ_ATM

College: Texas A&M University

From: Houston, TX

Drafted: 6/9/2013

Posts: 12

Comments: 6421

NBA Equivalent: Point Guard

Comparisons: JJ Barea, Courtney Fortson, Isaiah Canaan, Rodrigue Beaubois

Nickname: OJ

Scouting Report:

+ Youngest member of TheDreamShake writing team

+ High amounts of fire, energy, and passion for the game

+ Has yet to figure out his game, but his development shows lots of promise

+ Lacks certain needed skillsets in his writing, however his IQ and intangibles keep his dream alive

- Hasn't fully completed  a writing class in 3 years

- Is an avid Dallas supporter.

Capsule: OJ was signed over the summer as a prospect for TheDreamShake. After showing development through fanposts over the years TDS saw fit that he deserved their form of a "10 day contract". This offseason we saw flashes of brilliance in his game as well as aspects in which he needs to improve on. His blend of general manager and coach knowledge allow for him to appeal to the stats-driven audience and the in-game driven audience. He truly is the embodiment of a D-league prospect. Over this season and possibly ones in the future he could earn his spot on the roster with a long contract (JJ Barea) or flame out on his chance in the big leagues (Courtney Fortson). I'd be willing to bet that he makes it, there's something unique about this kid.

NVP

College: University of Texas

From: Sugar Land, TX

Drafted: Exact date is uncertain

Posts: 13

Comments: 19452

NBA Equivalent: Assistant Front Office Personnel

Comparisons: Gersson Rosas and Sam Hinkie

Nickname: The Brain

Scouting Report:

+ Is currently second in all time comments for TDS writers

+ Has a bountiful knowledge bank of all sports, especially basketball

+ Has expertise in both statistics and scouting

+ Arguably the best young talent evaluator on TDS' roster

+ He is from Taiwan which gives TDS the ability to market towards Asia

+ Has an IQ through the roof

Capsule: NVP was brought in due to his consistent excellence in the comments section. TDS users who follow the comments section know to look for "NVP" because knowledge is and always dropped despite the topic. His mindset and skillset is that not of a player, but of front office personnel. His brilliance in statistics paired with his excellence in analyzing game film allows for the possibility of great things in his future. NVP is an all around brilliant person who consistently goes overlooked, but this season is his time to make his way to the light and earn a spot on the roster.

More from The Dream Shake:

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