Evidently my cell phone is a digit off Harden's LA phone number.
Because last night I answered the phone and heard this:
"Great good-bye party Sam,Good luck in Philly. Sure you don't want Royce as a parting gift...yeah I've had a little too much champagne,but my wife's driving so it's okay..."
I was kinda stunned and said,"Um,ah,hello" and Morey in a drunken voice interrupted...
"James,James,it's me Darryl. Look,roll off the stripper and listen up. I got it done! D-O-N-E! Done,done,done! (Little maniacal laughter) When you run into Dwight at the club you can tell him,just don't tell anyone else. You gotta pinky swear on this.
"Before the Draft I'm picking up Garcia's option. I'm trading Robinson to Orlando for their 2014 Denver First. I'm bringing over Aldemir on one of my patented $800,000/4 yr deals. Then,(almost a girlish giggle)I'm making what everyone is to believe is my big move. Suckers!
"Asik,Motie,the Denver 2014 First,my 2015 First to Portland,Garcia and Anderson to the Lakers and we get Aldridge,while LA sends Blake and Duhon to Portland. Portland buys out Duhon and now has $15mil in Cap room and goes hard for Josh Smith. LA does it because the silly fockers think they're cock-blocking me get Howard. (Really scary maniacal laughter) They actually believe that I'd have a Cap of $45mil and no way to sign Howard. Thank you Jesus for Jimmy Buss!
"12:01AM July 1 I'm trading Lin to Toronto for Lowry. Then the second the League approves the trade I'm buying that pudgy little hothead out for $1mil. I'm gonna build a statue to that magnificent b******. First he got me Harden,now he's gonna get me Dwight. (More maniacal laughter)
"I'll be sitting at 8 players and w/the less than 12 player roster holds about $37mil in Salary Cap. we sign Dwight for $20mil,releases another Roster Hold and I sign Carlos back on another 2 yr $3mil/yr deal and do another Second Rd special,maybe on Rice Jr. I bring back Douglas w/the $2.5 Cap MLE. After all I can find a back-up PG when I take a dump,getting one is no problem. You,Aldridge and Dwight,I'll have vets lining up to sign with us for the Vet Minimum.
"Ah,the wife is giving me the Stare-of-Death,I gotta wrap this up. Have fun in LA,just try and stay in some kinda shape and tell Dwight we got it covered. See you at the pree conference when we sign Dwight. Bye."
There you have it,the Plan. Yeah I spent all morning trying to decide whether to share it,but I figure what the heck,no one's gonna read this in LA.