Alright, folks, in the spirit of looking past the New Orleans Hornets to close out the season, the Rockets are locked into home court advantage against the Portland Trailblazers in a 4/5 matchup. First, we need to cover some housekeeping matters before I give you something for entertainment.
We here at The Dreamshake enjoy having a community we can occasionally not be repulsed by. If you really want to make us proud we have a few expectations of everyone. First, don't be a troll and don't be dumb enough to take troll bait. TDS is a place for all fans and, though we cater to Rockets fans, we like diversity and different opinions. Just because someone disagrees with you or has different fanhood doesn't mean you flag their posts automatically or you make an ass of yourself and, by extension, us. Second, we expect us to be welcoming to new posters. The playoffs are going to attract a lot of new blood. You don't have to be a doormat but we're not looking for an "us v. them" mentality. Lord knows we have enough of that already. Third, the rules apply equally to everyone. Everyone is on notice about our rules and policies and if you need a refresher, hit up this link and brush up on how things work here. Things will be tight around here going forward. Personal preference note: If we win a series and you turn the comment threads into a Kirby look-alike I will insult every single one of you personally.
I polled TDS writers to get their playoff predictions. The rules were simple. Predict how far the Rockets go in their playoff run. For example, if you thought the Rockets would go out in round 2 you would respond "Rockets sweep the Blazers, lose to the Spurs in 6." Then you stopped there. We took some liberties and added in some other predictions as well for flare. To make this a little more fun for y'all, I went ahead and assigned titles to writers. Your job, in addition to complying with the above and enjoying this topic, is to figure out which writer was which person.
Best Writer on TDS
"Rockets over the Blazers in 5, Rockets over Spurs in 6, Thunder over the Rockets in 5. Patrick Beverley is blamed for no less than two incidental injuries."
"Houston over Portland 6. Houston over San Antonio in 7. OKC over Houston in 5. Whoever Harden and whoever he is "guarding" in the Portland series have one 40+ point game."
"Houston over Portland in 7. Someone on Portland gets a triple double. Rockets over whoever upset the Spurs in the first round because fuck the Spurs. OKC over Houston in 6."
"Rockets take down the Blazers in 6. Spurs over the Rockets in 7. ESPNLA runs a column on how Dwight Howard made the wrong choice to come to Houston. Marc Stein discusses "what could have been" with Dwight and Jose Calderon in Dallas."
"Rockets over Blazers in 6. Rockets over Spurs in 6. OKC over Houston in 7."
"Houston over Portland in 6, Spurs over Houston in 6. DMo gets called an x-factor on national TV exactly once. Parsons leads the Rockets in scoring twice during the Portland series."
"Rockets destroy Portland in 5. Rockets lose to the Spurs in 5."
"Rockets in 6 over Portland, Spurs in 5 over Rockets."
"Rockets in 7 over Portland. San Antonio sweeps Houston. I hate freedom."
"Rockets in 5, Rockets in 6, OKC in 6. Bonus pick, OKC in 5 for the title."
Have fun figuring out who is who and feel free to offer your picks for the NBA playoffs below. Let's look past the Pelicans because who cares, we playoffs meow.