FanPost

Summertime Sadness

The summer doldrums are here again, fellow TDSers, those months between summer league and the start of regaular season basketball when we pretend to be interested in baseball, contributing to society, and other useless things. And while we don't have much actual news to discuss on this esteemed blog, I thought it would be fun to indulge in a thought experiment: if you were to assemble a Houston Rockets All-Favorite Team of the 21st Century, who would be on it? The rules are that anyone you pick has to have played in at least one actual game for the Rockets (alas, no Sergio Llull allowed) on or after January 1, 2000 and the team will be composed of a PG, SG, SF, PF, and C, all in their natural positions (so while Mr. McHale may like throwing 'Cisco in at PF, keep that ish out of here). Also, keep in mind that this is an All-Favorite team. Want to stick Moochie Norris at the PG slot over Kyle Lowry? Go ahead, you sillygoose you. And at that, here's my list:

PG: Goran Dragic.

Klemen Slakonja as Goran Dragić - Dragon, Dragone (via Klemen Slakonja)

Controversially known as "Not Jeremy Lin," Goran Dragic slashed and shot his way into my heart and yours during his short time in Houston. He's electrifying, can take over a game if he wants (sometimes), and inspires a rabidness in his native Slovenia that would scare a Russian dog. I hate you, Phoenix.

Backup: Stevie Franchise. A part of the golden age of PG's where all of the best were contractually obligated to be divas and not live up to their full potential. Some of my first memories watching the Rockets involved Francis missing layups in the playoffs while an unguarded Yao Ming stood by and watched helplessly. Also, he has an R&B music video straight from the 90's.

SG: Von Wafer.

Like Coors Light, Von Wafer is bubbly and ice cold. Also like Coors Light, you spend most of your time wishing he were better. But damnit if he isn't the most entertaining Rocket to ever play the game. Sporting his faux-hawk he would every now and then make a play that absolutely blew our collective minds, only to follow it up with 10 consecutive turnovers. This is a worse team without him on it. Unfortunately, Daryl Morey has ignored my repeated requests to give him a max contract.

Backup: Ron Artest. He played a major role in the most exciting Rockets playoff series I've ever watched, shoving his hand in Kobe's face for what probably amounted to several hours before leaving us to win a championship with him. But at least we got Trevor Ariza out of it!

SF: T-Mac

Freak athlete extraordinaire, Tracy McGrady, in my mind, could have been one of the greatest of all time if he put more effort into practice and managed to stay healthy during his time in Houston. While some attribute his ability to get a steal and make an amazing play at the perfect time to his lazy-eye-enhanced peripheral vision, he, at times, had a feel for the game I've haven't seen in anyone playing today (Kobe's still hurt, right?). 13 in 35 will always be a cherished memory.

Backup: Chandler Parsons. I can't stay mad at you.

PF: Donuts

This is a tough one. I've never really loved any Houston PFs. Don't get me wrong, we've had a lot of good (but not great) ones, but none of them really stand out as crazy-entertaining. I know there's a lot of Luis Scola love here, but I never really understood the adoration. We just haven't had too many characters at this position. So Donuts wins by default.

Backup: Stromile Swift? I don't know.

C: Dikembe Mutombo

With a voice of gravel and a heart of gold, Dikembe Mutombo and his finger wag claim top spot in the C category. It was really hard not to pick Yao Ming, it really was. But Dikembe Mutombo saved the world in 4.5 weeks. And he's donated millions to build a hospital in his home city, among countless other causes. With his wingspan surpassed only by his compassion and love of life, this dude really is a gem.

Backup: Yao Ming.

Warrior-poet. Philosopher. Sex Symbol. Tall. These are but a few of the ways one could describe Yao Ming. Also a philanthropist and do-er of good, we tragically did not get to see Yao Ming play nearly as much as we should have. It truly is one of the tragedies of the game that injuries held back such a unique talent from reaching his full potential. But less time for basketball means more time for saving animals, curing disease, and being an international man of mystery.

If this were an actual team there exists no doubt in my mind that it would have a regular season record of 81-1, winning its first 81 games before losing all of its starters to injury, losing its last regular season game and then going on to suffer a 4-1 series loss to the Dallah Jazzericks that we will blame of Stevie Franchise's missed layups and abundant turnovers.

So what say you, TDS? Don't agree with my team? Screw yourselves Show me who you would pick in the comments!

Steve Francis - Finer Things (Official Video) - HD (via Akil Kurji)


No cursing in title. No pirated material, such as links to online game streams. Do not cut/paste entire sections of content from other websites. Thanks.

In This FanPost

Teams