deep thoughts by joey dorsey Stories - The Dream Shake
(The Last) Ruminations from the Bench: Joey finally hears his name called
[scene: The week before the NBA All-Star Weekend in Dallas, TX. The Rockets have a meeting to name a "player representative" to send on behalf of the NBA-PA. Joey Dorsey is late to the meeting.] Shane Battier: Okay, guys, it seems we have a problem here. We gotta send somebody from this...
Ruminations from the Bench: Can Joey survive cut day?
[scene: Rockets practice on Homer Simpson's favorite day of the year: cut day] Joey: Oh yeah! Good day today. After today, I never have to see the likes of any of you b*tches ever again. [Joey dunks the ball with no one guarding him... tries to rip the rim off... then glares in the...
Ruminations from the Bench - the NCAA can't vacate my gorilla dunks!
[scene: Joey Dorsey gets the news that the NCAA might force Memphis to vacate everything from its 2007-08 basketball season] Joey [sees story on ESPN about Memphis]: What the f--k? They want to take our whole season away? Can they do that? Where's Jesse Jackson and the dude with the weird...
Summer League Ruminations from the Bench - Joey Dorsey's Vegas "Hangover"
[scene: Joey Dorsey wakes up on the ground in the parking lot outside of the Spearmint Rhino in Las Vegas. The Rockets had just beat the Timberwolves the night before.] Joey: [groggy] What just happened? Where am I? Why do I only have one shoe? What the... [/Dorsey looks up and...
(Playoff) Ruminations from the Bench - by Joey Dorsey
[scene - Joey Dorsey hanging around the Rockets' locker room after Game 1] Joey Dorsey: [to no one in particular] Yo, yo, yo... what's up, bitches? /entire Rockets locker room ignores Dorsey [continued… warning, language is NSFW] Dorsey: I said "yo, yo, yo... what's up, bitches?!!!"...
Ruminations from the bench - Joey celebrates St. Patty's Day!
[scene - Joey Dorsey in New Orleans after the Rockets/Hornets game. St. Patrick's Day. Two days before March Madness. I repeat... Joey Dorsey in New Orleans on St. Patrick's Day.] Joey: Hell yeah... my favorite time of year - March Madness is upon us! And now that Joey be gorilla...
Ruminations from the bench - by Joey Dorsey: Joey's bedtime prayer
[scene: Joey Dorsey returns home after yet another DNP-CD against the Portland Trail Blazers] Joey: Another game... another day where Joey gets no play. Even Luther Head gets to play every now and then. Something is terribly wrong with this situation. Joey's got to do something about...
Ruminations from the bench - Joey is ready to return, too!
[scene - the Rockets' team flight from Detroit to New York. Joey Dorsey is eavesdropping on a conversation between Tracy McGrady and Ron Artest.] Joey: What's up, bitches? Crazy Pills: [irritated] Who are you? Tracy: [returns to daydreaming about 18-foot turnaround jumpers with...
Blogger MVP/ROY rankings (last of 2008!)
Raptors HQ was kind enough to host this week's Blogger MVP/ROY rankings... you can see the results here. And, surprise surprise - a Rocket finally got a vote! One Yao Ming is an "honorable mention" candidate. Finally. Oh, and if you are wondering, yes, the one vote for ROY for Joey Dorsey is...
Ruminations from the Bench - making it rain in the Rio Grande Valley!
[scene: Rockets' practice on Christmas Eve] Boy Genius Daryl Morey: Joey, could you please come see Rick Adelman and I in my office after practice? Joey: Is this meeting the one where I collect my gorilla dunk bonus? You know I totally did that shit on Monday. The NBA: Where Joey's bad-ass...
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