ruminations from the bench Stories - The Dream Shake
(The Last) Ruminations from the Bench: Joey finally hears his name called
[scene: The week before the NBA All-Star Weekend in Dallas, TX. The Rockets have a meeting to name a "player representative" to send on behalf of the NBA-PA. Joey Dorsey is late to the meeting.] Shane Battier: Okay, guys, it seems we have a problem here. We gotta send somebody from this...
Ruminations from the Bench: Can Joey survive cut day?
[scene: Rockets practice on Homer Simpson's favorite day of the year: cut day] Joey: Oh yeah! Good day today. After today, I never have to see the likes of any of you b*tches ever again. [Joey dunks the ball with no one guarding him... tries to rip the rim off... then glares in the...
Ruminations from the Bench - the NCAA can't vacate my gorilla dunks!
[scene: Joey Dorsey gets the news that the NCAA might force Memphis to vacate everything from its 2007-08 basketball season] Joey [sees story on ESPN about Memphis]: What the f--k? They want to take our whole season away? Can they do that? Where's Jesse Jackson and the dude with the weird...
Summer League Ruminations from the Bench - Joey Dorsey's Vegas "Hangover"
[scene: Joey Dorsey wakes up on the ground in the parking lot outside of the Spearmint Rhino in Las Vegas. The Rockets had just beat the Timberwolves the night before.] Joey: [groggy] What just happened? Where am I? Why do I only have one shoe? What the... [/Dorsey looks up and...
(Playoff) Ruminations from the Bench - by Joey Dorsey
[scene - Joey Dorsey hanging around the Rockets' locker room after Game 1] Joey Dorsey: [to no one in particular] Yo, yo, yo... what's up, bitches? /entire Rockets locker room ignores Dorsey [continued… warning, language is NSFW] Dorsey: I said "yo, yo, yo... what's up, bitches?!!!"...
Ruminations from the bench - Joey celebrates St. Patty's Day!
[scene - Joey Dorsey in New Orleans after the Rockets/Hornets game. St. Patrick's Day. Two days before March Madness. I repeat... Joey Dorsey in New Orleans on St. Patrick's Day.] Joey: Hell yeah... my favorite time of year - March Madness is upon us! And now that Joey be gorilla...
Ruminations from the bench - Joey is ready to return, too!
[scene - the Rockets' team flight from Detroit to New York. Joey Dorsey is eavesdropping on a conversation between Tracy McGrady and Ron Artest.] Joey: What's up, bitches? Crazy Pills: [irritated] Who are you? Tracy: [returns to daydreaming about 18-foot turnaround jumpers with...
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