Undoubtedly, the Luis Scola Wig is one of the most creative pieces of team memorabilia available today, and it beats the crap out of a bobble-head doll. So, to celebrate this wonderful occasion, which takes place tomorrow night, why not think of other alternatives to bobble-heads for the rest of the Rockets? I came up with this list of priceless items:
Rafer Alston Brick Night - Bundles of mini-bricks with Skip's signature on each one will be handed out to every fan. Supplies are short, however, so you may only get 4 out of the potential 11, which translates to about 36%.
Shane Battier Ten Commandments Tablet Night - Tablets containing the Ten Commandments will be handed out with pictures of Shane on each corner. Remember, just the corners and nowhere else.
Luther Head Waste Management Night - The nation's leading waste company, Waste Management, will be providing miniature trash cans to all fans in order to remind them not to waste valuable possessions. Like a first round pick, for example.
Chuck Hayes Charity Awareness Night - Red Salvation Army shirts containing a white stripe across the front that reads "charity" will be handed out with Chuck's signature to the first 1,000 fans in attendance. The point of the white stripe is to remind everyone to cherish any charity that has been given to them over the course of the holiday season. It also reminds them to use that charity wisely and not to clank it off the front of the rim.
Joey Dorsey Pine Night - First 2,000 fans in attendance will receive blocks of wood to commemorate Joey Dorsey's time as a Rocket. A sketch of Dorsey's ass will also be imprinted on each piece of pine, and it's non-erasable.
Yao Ming Milk Carton Night - Kids, wonder how Yao has such strong bones? He drinks his milk, of course! Individual milk cartons will be handed out at the entrance. Be sure to check the expiration date on each carton, though. There could be some difficulty in identifying the age.
Tracy McGrady Letterman Jacket Night - Letterman jackets from Tracy's alma-mater, Mt. Zion High School, will be given to the first 500 fans in attendance. Be sure to wear your jacket as much as you can upon receiving one. They tend to wear down quickly despite their relatively young age.
Von Wafer ‘Nila Wafers Night - 5 packs of ‘Nila Wafers will be handed out to each the first 1,000 fans in attendance, seeing as the wafers may not be fully appreciated until the fifth package is opened.
Aaron Brooks FatHead Night - Life-sized FatHeads of Aaron Brooks will be handed out to the first 5,000 fans in attendance. While the FatHead's may be difficult to carry up the stairs and escalators, keep in mind that there will be nobody there to assist you. So remember: no assists will be in sight.
Carl Landry Dunk Night - Fans will be invited to come out to the game early and dunk Carl Landry in the dunking booth outside Toyota Center. Don't worry about arriving late, however. Most likely, Landry will be mistakenly overlooked in the first round of dunking and finally draw some attention when the second round begins.
Ron Artest Beer Cup Night - All fans will be given beer cups with Rawn's picture on each one upon entering Toyota Center. In place of the T-Shirt toss, fans will be invited to throw the beer cups into one of the many trash bags that will be laid out upon the court. Just don't hit Crazy Pills.
Hopefully the Rockets can continue to be creative.