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The Houston Rockets: We'll Boost Your Confidence!

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Does your team suck?  Is your locker room chemistry so bad that even Terrell Owens could improve it?  No problem!  Come play the Houston Rockets.  We'll be sure to build up a lead for three quarters, but then the 4th quarter is yours to win; it's our trademark service.  Bad shot selection, turnovers, drowzing coaches - you name it, we'll do it.  Feel like driving in the paint?  Go ahead, it's your game to be won.  Sound too good to be true?  Take a look at our previous customers:

Memphis Grizzlies

Indiana Pacers (twice!)

Washington Wizards

Philadelphia 76ers (twice!)

Los Angeles Clippers

New York Knicks

Toronto Raptors (paid double for super-suckage)

We only have one defect: we're Thunder-proof.  So call us today, but remember: you must have a crappy team.