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10 reasons the Rockets will win Game 7

Yes, more lists.  Now that the Rockets have forced a Game 7 in L.A., there is only one more opportunity to poke fun at the Lakers.  Because Kobe's season ends tomorrow.  Which will coincide nicely with the premiere of Kobe Doin' Work.

Ten Reasons the Rockets Win Game 7 on Sunday

10.  Even Hollywood would have to admit that the Rockets winning would make for a better story than the Lakers winning.

9.  Unbeknownst to the Lakers... or even to Keith Jones... the undersized Rockets have switched to a steady diet of Weight Gain 4000.  Luis Scola is going to be such a beefcake he won't fit in the Staples Center.  BEEFCAKE!!


... just try to stop him now, Mr. Gasol!

8.  Now that the Lakers have struck down Yao Ming, they've only made him more powerful than anyone could possibly imagine.  The Force is strong with the Rockets.

7.  Because Violet Palmer will probably be assigned as one of the referees... and one of her calls will backfire in the Rockets' favor.  Law of averages or something.

6.  Tracy McGrady will not be in the building to bring his bad mojo to the team. 

5.  Kobe Bryant is too much like Maverick.  And we all know that Maverick was a badass before he went psycho on Oprah... but he also finished 2nd to Iceman.  On Sunday, Shane Battier will be playing the role of Iceman.  He isn't flashy.  But he just doesn't make mistakes.


4.  Rick Adelman is due.  He has never beaten Phil Jackson in a playoff series.  Like... ever.  Memorably in the 1992 NBA Finals.  Again ten years later in the 2002 Western Conference FInals.  (Though Robert Horry had a lot to do with that.  Horry being the greatest winner of the modern era playing a huge role there.)

3.  Because Chuck Hayes making two free throws to clinch the series would be the most awesome and hilarious thing... EVAR.

2.  Scola's hair > Vujacic's hair.

1.  Because Sunday will be God's way of letting David Stern know who is really in charge of things.  And it ain't David Stern.



(Monday is my birthday... tomorrow's Rocket victory will be one of the best b-day gifts I've ever received!)