Need something to brighten your day? Try this:
1. Find an old Rockets game program from the '98-'99 season. *Check*
2. Read through it until you come across the player portraits. *Check*
3. Embrace the glory/approach Nirvana. *Click the jump*
"This is Matt Maloney of the Houston Rockets. If you choose a men's hair product, choose Rogaine."
Bryce Drew foreshadows his career as a professional basketball player.
Yes, Anthony Miller's tattoo literally says, "Zoink!"
This one is called "Intimidation Pose," by Antoine Carr.