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Yao Ming Puts The Hall Of Fame On Hold

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Yao Ming reportedly says he's not ready for the Basketball Hall of Fame. Here's why:

Yao Ming: "Hello?"

Basketball Hall of Fame: "Mr. Yao Ming."

Yao: "Yes."

HoF: "Mr. Ming--"

Yao: "Call me Yao."

HoF: "Mr. Yao, this is the Basketball Hall of Fame. We're calling to offer you an invitation--"

Yao: "I am Bono."


Yao: "Can you see my new glasses?

HoF: "This is a telephone."

Yao: "If you saw my new glasses you would say I am Bono."

HoF: "The two of you would still look slightly different."

Yao: "Nuh-uh."

HoF: "Yes, I think you would."

Yao: "Atch-tounge, baby."

HoF: "Listen, Yao: we'd like to let you know that you may be inducted--"

Yao: "Hold on."

HoF: "Excuse me?"

Yao: "Hold on a second."

HoF: "Is something wrong?"

Yao: "My macaroni is almost done."

HoF: "Stouffer's?"

Yao: "Banquet. Only a dollar, best deal ever."

HoF: "Right, right. Forgot your contract expired."


HoF: "I'm sorry, I also forgot, what did you say we should call you?"

Yao: "You can call me Yao."


HoF: "That sorta sounds like that Paul Simon song."

Yao: "Which Bono song is that?"

HoF: "Nothing. Er, Yao, can you do something for me?"

Yao: "Yes what."

HoF: "After I finish talking, can you say that again?"

Yao: "Say what."

HoF: "You can call me Yao."

Yao: "I think that is strange but okay."

HoF: "Okay, okay... are you ready? This is going to be great."

Yao: "I am ready."

HoF: "Okay... just... just go with it."

(clears throat)

HoF: "If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost--"

Yao: "You can call me Yao."


Yao: "That didn't sound like Bono."

HoF: "No, no. See, you need to wait until I'm finished."

Yao: "You were finished."

HoF: "No, I wasn't."

Yao: "I have to ask you why are we doing this."

HoF: "Just give it one more try, all right? Just one more try. Here we go."

Yao: "My Banquet is getting cold, the directions say it will get cold."

HoF: "If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost--"

Yao: "Macaroni is cold."


Yao: "You can call me Yao."

(frustrated breathing over phone)

HoF: "I can call you Betty. And Betty when you call me..."


HoF: "Pst."


Yao: "Is this where I am supposed to say things?"

HoF: "Yes but... you know... forget about it. It was a silly idea. I don't even like Paul Simon."

Yao: "Who?"

HoF: "Nothing. Listen, Mr. Yao, we'd like to invite you to join the Basketball Hall of Fame. As a contributor."

Yao: "A what."

HoF: "A contributor, an innovator - someone who made the game better off the court."

Yao: "That is silly, I want to go in as a player. Have you seen my jump hook?"

HoF: "Well, see, we're not entirely convinced that you were good enough--"

Yao: "F*ck this."