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Game 6 Recap: Slob City

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Rockets go down 117-89, but not before having a pre-game discussion that totally didn't happen. Also, I couldn't recap that game, not if I tried.

Kyle Lowry: Fellas. Big game tonight. Get geared, let's grab a W.

Kevin Martin: We've got to come out strong this time. Last night's loss was unacceptable.

Luis Scola: Y Tú Mama Tambien.

Terrence Williams: Hold up, hold up. I got a proposition. So you know we takin' on the Clippers right?

Jordan Hill: LOB CITY.

Kyle Lowry: Terrence, this really isn't the time...

Terrence Williams: Nah, listen. So I got some dudes hooked up in Vegas sayin' they ain't seen Lob City...

Jordan Hill: LOB CITY.

Terrence Williams: ... poppin' in some time. They lookin' for a little flash, know what I'm sayin'? They want that flash... they dish that cash.

Goran Dragic: You want throw game for money?

Terrence Williams: Nah, we're not gonna throw the game. I already explained the deal to my man Hasheem here. Tell 'em what's up, Hasheem.

Hasheem Thabeet: Throw game for money.

Terrence Williams: What he means is that Lob City...

Jordan Hill: LOB CIT--

Jeff Adrien spears Hill into a locker. Hill loses consciousness.

Terrence Williams: ... is only with the starting five. And Kyle, you guys played a ton of minutes last night and we got a ways to go 'fo we get some days off. So why not get some rest, let the Lob City flow... and give us some PT to grab that lead back atcha?

Jonny Flynn: Fuck it, I'm down.

Kyle Lowry: No.

Kevin Martin: Absolutely not.

Luis Scola: Cinco De Mayo.

Chase Budinger: I'll do it for twenty bucks.

Terrence Williams: You'll be getting a thousand if we do it right...

Chase Budinger: My offer stands unchanged.

Chandler Parsons: Bro, I'll give you twenty bucks to go eat a dick.

Jonny Flynn breaks down laughing.

Patrick Patterson: Aren't we dead last in the league in points in the paint this season anyway? Couldn't we just pawn it off on that as an excuse?

Samuel Dalembert: NO EXCUSES.

Kyle Lowry: Sam, when did you get here?


Kyle Lowry: Well, we're talking about strategy for tonight's game. Terrence has an idea to throw the game...

Terrence Williams: It's not throwing the game!

Kevin Martin: For the starters to throw the game...

Terrence Williams: #Wordaapp.

Kevin Martin: ...which we aren't going to do.

Kyle Lowry: Period.

Chandler Parsons: Bros? Are we quick to forget sound judgments such as those Mr. Patterson recently offered?

Patrick Patterson: We could legitimately do this and nobody would have a clue. We suck at defense.

Hasheem Thabeet: Hasheem have idea.

Everyone goes silent.

Kyle Lowry: What, uh... what's that, 'Sheem?

Hasheem Thabeet: Get cash, play hard, no tell difference.

Goran Dragic: Goran agree. All offense. Get cash, play hard, no tell difference.

Terrence Williams: You know, I kinda like the sound of that. You're saying I should tell my dude that we're gonna do it, but we're actually not gonna do it, but we're gonna kind of do it because we can't stop it anyway so he'll think we actually did it.

Hasheem Thabeet: That what Hasheem say.

Chandler Parsons: We doin' this trick, dudes?

Chase Budinger: I rescind my offer of twenty bucks. I also vote for Hasheem's idea.

Patrick Patterson: Seconded.

Luis Scola: Tres.

Kyle Lowry: Luis, dawg... it ain't like you were gonna stop Blake Griffin anyway, let's be real.

Kevin Martin: So, is that it? Are we going to do this? Kyle, you've got the final word.

Kyle Lowry: How much we making?

Terrence Williams: Bout twelve grand total.

Kyle Lowry: Oh fuck it, pencil me in.

Kevin McHale enters the locker room.

Kevin McHale: Hey men, big game tonight.

Team: Yes sir.

Kevin McHale: Hey, you guys ever heard of a guy named Robert Parrish?

Team: Yes sir.

Kevin McHale: Hey, you guys ever heard of a guy named Larry Bird?

Team: Yes sir.

Kevin McHale: Hey, you guys ever heard of a guy named Joe Mauer?

Team: No sir.

Kevin McHale: Now go out there and get it done!

Kyle Lowry: Okay guys, you know the drill.

Jordan Hill wakes up.

Jordan Hill: LOB CITY!?!

Kevin Martin: Kyle, we forgot to tell Jordan the gameplan.

Kyle Lowry: You know, somehow, I think he'll catch on.