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The Dream Shake's newest writer: Meet the bottom of the depth chart!

The Dream Shake welcomes a new member to the staff.

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire
How do you introduce yourself on the web? Most jerks open with a "Hi I’m Bill Simmons, please read my 9,000 word column about the Karate Kid and why Boston sports are greater than all other sports franchises ever created." Lame. I'm not really sure what I can tell you about myself with out coming off like a douche. A friend of mine once told me that I'm the type of guy that they'll name a lame dance move after. So there's that.

In college I used to do this annoying thing at parties where I would mumble my name when meeting new people then try to press them to see if they remembered. Making people uncomfortable is usually fun, even when you’re the only one laughing. But for lack of a better way to introduce myself; I’m mumbleAbelPradomumble, nice to meet you!

Moving on, have you ever felt like your best days are behind you? I’m in my mid-twenties yet sometimes it feels like I peaked in college and my life won’t ever be that awesome ever again. It’s stupid, I know. At the end of last season I felt that way about our Houston Rockets. I know that this franchise is amongst the savviest in the league and watching the Rockets has, by no means, been dull. If anything, following the Rockets has been anything but dull. But after having missed the playoffs (again) and getting the last lottery pick (again), it sort of started to feel like the Rockets won’t ever return to glory -- and they probably won’t anytime soon. Hakeem isn’t going to walk through that door. And that’s ok. Nostalgia is vastly overrated, but optimism never is.

You've no reason to be familiar with any of my work but we ran my first contribution to the site as a Fanpost a few days ago about Morey's Reddit thread. I'll mostly be posting daily links about from around the Interwebs about the Rockets and anything else that you may fancy. I'll also serve as your official Rio Grande Valley Vipers correspondent as I happen to reside in the RGV and will attend games as much as possible. Aside from that I'll probably bombard you with puns, bad nicknames, more puns and some really awful puns. That should be fun.

If you don't include stalking Joey Dorsey, I really have no life so any emails sent to abel_p06@yahoo.com will get a reply, probably in less than five minutes. You can follow me on twitter @aiprado where you will get more of said nicknames and awful puns. And, finally, I very recently started a little blog about the Houston Texans which you can read here.

/whoring complete.

I don’t believe in fate but I do find it more than happenstance that Tom, who I've been a big fan of over the years, and the rest of The Dream Shake staff invited me to join the site upon the launch of the redesign -- which, I hate to admit, looks pretty freaking baller -- and wouldn’t you know it? the Rockets new slogan touts a "New Age." It's a great time to be a Rockets fan and I’m happy to be coming along at a time where everywhere you turn (and I’m looking at you Houston Texans), it seems like things are changing for the better.

There's a lot of exciting stuff happening around these parts. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty pumped.