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Rockets-Clippers Game Preview. Kind of.

The Rockets coming off a game in Sacramento are set to face the Clippers tonight in LA.

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Armin has officially been ruled out for this game's preview due to "not being at home" as Armin puts it. Sources close to the situation believe it's either for Tuesday night raging in Lubbock or to attend Marcus Smart's seminar on self-restraint. Whatever the situation may be, Armin will be back in time for Saturday's preview against the Bucks. In the mean time, you got me. *crickets*

Cool. Let's begin.

Outside of DeAndre Jordan (gig 'em!), I hate the Clippers. Chris Paul is a whiney you-know-what. Stats show that JJ Reddick has never missed a shot against the Rockets in his life. Blake Griffin is Blake Griffin. I mean, come on, this is the same team that signed Lamar Odom last year! Lamar Odom! Now, because I can't stand the Clippers, I'm going to change this preview up a bit and steal an idea from a post I saw over at MavsMoneyBall. Our friends over there created an All Ex-Mavericks team consisting of players in the league, so I'm going to do the same, but for the Rockets. Let's call them the Rockets Rejects.

Tip off: 8:30 PM Central

Houston Rockets vs. Rockets Rejects:

Point Guards: Patrick Beverley/Jeremy Lin vs. Kyle Lowry/Goran Dragic

It's impossible to pick between Goran and Kyle this season, so I had to go with both of them. Both of them have been playing at an All-Star level and have their teams in the middle of the playoff picture for their conferences. They're finally making the leaps we all knew they were capable of making and it sucks that they're making them with other teams. It's kind of depressing once you really look at it.

We can excuse Kyle somewhat, he had issues with the coach and in return the Rockets received a 1st rounder that was a key part of the Harden trade. Not re-signing Goran though is looking more costly as every game goes by. Imagine what this team would look like with Goran instead of Jeremy on the team. Exactly, I need not say more.

Advantage: Kyle Lowry/Goran Dragic

Honorable Mentions: Aaron Brooks, Ish Smith

Shooting Guard: James Harden vs. Kevin Martin

I know, you were trying so hard to forget about when we had K-Mart at shooting guard and I just ruined all your hard work. I'm sorry. I really am.

Neither of them play defense, both can score at will, and both flop more than a Magikarp out of water. One of them is just better though.

Advantage: James Harden

Honorable Mentions: Courtney Lee, Jeremy Lamb

Small Forward: Chandler Parsons vs. Nicolas Batum

This one was tough, but I have to give the nod to the cheap-shotting Frenchman, Nicolas Batum. He's averaging 13/6/5 on good shooting numbers and is a key reason for the Blazers' success. Nicolas is also able to play and guard multiple positions, making him very valuable.

Chandler however is scoring at a much higher and efficient rate, averaging 17 points to go along with 6 rebounds and 4 assists a game. He is a below average defender though, which makes this a tossup.

Quick note: Nicolas Batum is younger than Chandler Parsons.

Advantage: Even

Honorable Mentions: Gerald Green, Trevor Ariza

Power Forward: Terrence Jones vs. Patrick Patterson

Terrence in his 1st year receiving consistent playing time is already better than every ex-Rocket power forward in the league. That's very impressive and speaks to how good he can be in the future.

Patrick Patterson is playing well for the Raptors, averaging 10 points and 5.5 rebounds while shooting the 3 well. Oh, he did this too:

Patrick Patterson game-winner: Toronto Raptors at Brooklyn Nets (via watchnba201213)

Advantage: Chuck Hayes, by default.

Honorable Mentions: Marcus Morris, Luis Scola

Dishonorable Mention: Royce White

Center: Dwight Howard vs. Pau Gasol

He counts okay! I know he technically never signed a contract or wore a Rockets uniform, but he was traded to us which is good enough for this post. Wait, who the hell am I kidding, *bleep* Pau Gasol.

Advantage: Dwight Howard

Honorable Mentions: Not Samuel Dalembert

Prediction: After a win over the Rockets-Rejects, the Rockets stumble in LA and fall 115-103.