Ethan Rothstein, our editor in chief and chief who is also an editor, asked me to start a weekly column, in which I bring you the Weird Rockets Video of the Week. At first I was like, "Are there really that many videos that I could use," and the answer to that question was yes, yes, an overwhelmingly intense and absolute yes. I don't think we knew what we were getting ourselves into.
Houston Rockets Moochie Norris Haircut Feature
Oh my God man are you serious? This vid has less than 1 billion views? This dude asks Moochie Norris "Matt Damon or Ben Affleck" while reading a People magazine and getting his hair done. He also refers to Calvin Murphy's hair as both "not a widow's peak, but the peak of Mount Everest" and "not the Golden Arches, but the Ebony Arches." Be serious with me for a minute, those are both top 5 phrases you've ever heard, right?
How have only 529 people have seen this vid? This video isn't causing people to cry on a daily basis? This is why we can't have nice things, man. This is why.
For some context, Moochie Norris was a point guard who played for the Rockets for 7 of his 12 seasons in the NBA. He was fine as a player, but he was a big deal because of his hair. It was either meticulous cornrows, or an absurdly huge afro, which is really just a beautiful thing to say front to back.
I'll be real here, this video deserves a lot more views. For posterity, I think some of it stands alone better as just screenshots without any context. For example:
Like, are you being serious? How is this picture even fair? Why is this not the standard background on every computer ever made?
Here is the best comment from this video. I had 1 to choose from.
That was your Weird Rockets Video of the Week. Come back next Wednesday when I'll show you some other ridiculous thing because this is who I am now.