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Weird Rockets Video of the Week: Moochie Norris Gets a "Haircut"

Who has better hair? Moochie Norris with cornrows or Moochie Norris with an afro?

Moochie's afro is magnificent.
Moochie's afro is magnificent.
The Kobe Beef

Ethan Rothstein, our editor in chief and chief who is also an editor, asked me to start a weekly column, in which I bring you the Weird Rockets Video of the Week. At first I was like, "Are there really that many videos that I could use," and the answer to that question was yes, yes, an overwhelmingly intense and absolute yes. I don't think we knew what we were getting ourselves into.

Houston Rockets Moochie Norris Haircut Feature



Video Description


Oh my God man are you serious? This vid has less than 1 billion views? This dude asks Moochie Norris "Matt Damon or Ben Affleck" while reading a People magazine and getting his hair done. He also refers to Calvin Murphy's hair as both "not a widow's peak, but the peak of Mount Everest" and "not the Golden Arches, but the Ebony Arches." Be serious with me for a minute, those are both top 5 phrases you've ever heard, right?

How have only 529 people have seen this vid? This video isn't causing people to cry on a daily basis?  This is why we can't have nice things, man. This is why.

For some context, Moochie Norris was a point guard who played for the Rockets for 7 of his 12 seasons in the NBA. He was fine as a player, but he was a big deal because of his hair. It was either meticulous cornrows, or an absurdly huge afro, which is really just a beautiful thing to say front to back.

I'll be real here, this video deserves a lot more views. For posterity, I think some of it stands alone better as just screenshots without any context. For example:


Like, are you being serious? How is this picture even fair? Why is this not the standard background on every computer ever made?

Here is the best comment from this video. I had 1 to choose from.

luv u moochie

That was your Weird Rockets Video of the Week. Come back next Wednesday when I'll show you some other ridiculous thing because this is who I am now.