Ethan Rothstein, our editor in chief and chief who is also an editor, asked me to start a weekly column, in which I bring you the Weird Rockets Video of the Week. At first I was like, "Are there really that many videos that I could use," and the answer to that question was yes, yes, an overwhelmingly intense and absolute yes. I don't think we knew what we were getting ourselves into.
Here is this week's video.
Funny! Houston Rockets Hilariously Sing 'Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel', Howard&Jones Freestyle Rapping
Rockets players attempt to sing the Hanukkah classic, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.
Wow. Remember when the Rockets were a young basketball team? That's like all I could think about when I watched this video, man. Young D-Mo. Young Bev. Young T-Jones.
Young Chandler "I Tweet Emojis Now" Parsons actually delivers the clutchest lines of the whole vid. "Isn't this a Jewish thing?" he says. "Omri [Casspi, an Israeli-born NBA player and former Rocket] is gonna kill it." "I'm completely lost here." I guess you really were, Chandler. I guess you really were... *Coldplay music plays*
For some more context, I don't really know how to give context to this video. I kinda assume this video was used during the TV timeouts in the Toyota Center, but that doesn't seem right. Why would you want to show people Ronnie Brewer and Omri Casspi singing, more uncomfortable than they've ever been? I cannot be the only one who cringes at Dwight's rapping. It's an awkward vid, man. It's weird.
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel is the Hanukkah song. I guess there's that Adam Sandler song, but Dreidel³ is the one, y'know? I chose this vid because it's the middle of Hanukkah right now. Plus, there are some redeeming qualities.
Like, who knew that Patrick Beverley and Donatas Motiejunas would seem to get along so well? I mean, really. A dude from Southside Chicago and a gangly Lithuanian? Who puts those two together? Who's writing that buddy cop movie with me about how despite their differences, friendship solves the case? That's what Hannukah's all about, man...
*Receives phone call and stern talking to from Ethan*
It has come to my attention that this is not what Hanukkah is all about. Agree to disagree, I guess.
Here is the best comment from this video. I had 1 to choose from.
Michael Rosales, I could give you the benefit of the doubt. I could assume that you just misquoted Chandler Parsons, and that you're just trying to have a good time laughing with the video. But that's not what Hanukkah's all about, Michael Rosales. *ignores Ethan's call*
"A jew thing?" For real? That's your comment after watching this vid, Michael Rosales? You're not going to point out anything else from this glorious and weird video besides that the song Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel is a "jew thing?" You're better than that, man. You've got to get your life together, man.
Put some good thoughts in. Take some bad thoughts out, Michael. Learn about other cultures and become better all around. Do this over and over until you turn your life around. That's what Hanukkah's all about, Michael Rosales.*phone rings*
THEN WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT, ETHAN?
That was your Weird Rockets Video of the Week. Come back next Wednesday when I’ll show you some other ridiculous thing because this is who I am now.
I do, in fact, know about Hanukkah and what it is about. I am in no way trying to make fun of Judaism or any Jewish people. These are simply jokes for jokes sake. Happy 6th night of Hanukkah!
Hanukkah is a magical celebration filled with fried potatoes and jelly donuts to celebrate the oil that should have lasted just one night in the old Temple in Jerusalem, but instead lasted eight days. Little Jews are taught this, while teachers/parents tend to gloss over the backstory. The oil was lit in celebration of the Maccabees' victory after straight pillaging the shit out of the Syrians and Hellenists (and a bunch of Hellenistic Jews who worshipped idols), who took over the Temple a few generations prior. They used guerilla warfare, attacked the Syrians/Hellenists where they live, and defeated a significantly larger force. But, sure, tell the lame oil story.