So Robert Boudwin, the longstanding man behind Clutch's mask, will not be returning after 21 seasons serving as the Rockets mascot. To put that into some perspective, I am 21 years old. This is something that I hadn't fully considered until I just wrote it. That's insane.
RoBo held a job for as long as I've been a person, and he did it with a suit on. I would go so far as to say that I have spent well over 90% of my time as a human without a mascot suit of any kind on. Sorry, I'm just baffled by this.
Anyway, I used to do this weekly segment here on TDS called the Weird Rockets Video of the Week, in which I presented a very weird video that had something to do with the Rockets, and I only covered Clutch once. But, here's a fun fact, pretty much every video on YouTube with Clutch in it is very, very weird.
For example, that is a video in which Clutch more or less sexually harasses almost a handful of people in a little less than 2 minutes. This is a lot to process, but it seems everyone was having a good time so I will try not to think about it too much.
In that video, Clutch defies my basic understanding of physics by making a shot while balancing on a rolling ball that is probably taller than me. We don't get to see how he got on top of the ball, so I am forced to assume he either a) practices some sort of black magic or b) has just always been on the top of that ball until that moment.
And there's the answer: clearly, a) Clutch has some sort of sorcerer like powers. This is another thing I'll try not to think about too much.
There's also the greatest mixtape ever, which I touched on before:
RoBo had a flair for the avant-garde, and wasn't afraid to enlist some minions for his art pieces.
I assume that the Houston Rockets organization will just hire somebody new to don the Clutch the Bear threads, but I think they will be hard pressed to find somebody as magnetic and fun as Robert Boudwin's Clutch. The NBA would likely agree, too, seeing as they gave him their first Mascot of the Year Award in 2005.
Hey, and Robert is the one who put that video on YouTube! Thanks for that Robert! And thank you for your long tenure as the best mascot in the league! We can only hope the next person behind the mask is just as weird. But we know that no matter who he (or she) is, he/she will never give us quite the sheer joy you did with your merciless slamming of cakes to the face. Man, you were so good at that.