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The Latest Invaders

Rockets Fans’ Immune System Gone Wild

Peak Bloom Hits During National Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington DC
MVP Season is Allergy Season Around Here!
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images

So I’ve told you how tired I am of the MVP conversation. I’m also at least that tired of my springtime allergies. That doesn’t stop the pollen falling from the sky, or blowing in the wind.

So do teams with players in the MVP conversation with James Harden fall on The Dreamshake. I can try to resist pollen, but as anyone who is a long time reader will know, I can never resist an appealing analogy.

At this point we’ve had Warriors, Thunder, Warriors, Cavs, Warriors, Bucks, Warriors, Thunder and Warriors some more. Warriors fans are kind of the “grass pollen” of MVP conversations. Is the grass Durant, or Curry, or does it even matter? And for Houstonians, we can call LeBron James “Old Oak Pollen”. Because he’s seemingly always in the conversation (until the Lakers got him).

Before we get too deeply involved in the taxonomy of pollens and their NBA player equivalents, we have a new one. Giannis Antetokounmpo and his Buckaroos are riding high here, (or as some have called them, the Giannistans.) Where once the florid Westbrookers flowed and the short-lived Georgian period reigned, we now get the Greek Freakout.

Get exposed to these sorts of allergens enough and the body often decides to fight them. The results aren’t pretty. Runny noses, watery eyes, sneezing, itches, are all common as the the immune system does its best to kick out the irritant any way possible.

By now, it seems the immune system of The Dreamshake is far gone into this reaction. After all, it’s been a rough allergy season around here for years now. It’s not even our fault, no one chooses to have allergies, because no one chooses irritants.

To most of the rest of NBA fandom Giannis is new, amazing and unusual. Tall! Dunks! Fast! To many of us, he is just months of passionately argued snot.

Newest visitors please understand, it’s not really anything personal. We know you originate from a rare and delicate flower. But we’ve seen allergens before, and you’re just another one. We don’t appreciate your particular fragrance, because we’re too busy sneezing you out.

Perhaps if your particular irritant manages four or five years of unprecedented excellence you’ll understand us better.


Allergy Sufferer?

This poll is closed

  • 42%
    Yes. It’s awful.
    (53 votes)
  • 15%
    No. Praise be.
    (19 votes)
  • 41%
    If you believed in St. Luka strongly enough your allergies would go away.
    (52 votes)
124 votes total Vote Now