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2019 NBA Finals Game Five Thread

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Durant returns! Warriors face elimination! Drama abounds!

Help us Kevin, you’re our only hope!
Steph Curry at the Rose Ceremony for Kevin Durant.
Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Just like they wrote it. Whoever They are.

Tonight the Golden State Warriors face elimination at the hands of the Toronto Raptors. This game promises to set new standards in the NBA for “loud” and “passionate” as a whole nation attempts to cheer its sole NBA team to victory.

Storylines abound. The Warriors have gotten to see what its like to suffer actual injuries to key players, rather than the sort of minor setbacks that plague almost every NBA player in the playoffs, but they mostly keep quiet about.

Quiet like Kawhi Leonard, who appears to be suffering through some sort of injury of his own, but due to programming constraints, isn’t making pained expressions every time something doesn’t go his way on court. We can all be grateful for being spared that little jaunt into The Uncanny Valley of Kawhi Leonard’s Face.

I’ll put my cards on the table. I hope the return of Kevin Durant is a dismal flop. (Edit - Not like that! Ugh.) I hope the Warriors are humiliated in Toronto. I hope the game is officiated fairly, rather than dramatically, or in-service-of-revenue(ly).

No team has ever gone from “engaging” to “insufferable” more definitely than Golden State. Let’s hope tonight crowns a new champion. Put Golden State out of everyone’s misery, Raptors.

Do it tonight.

Poll

Tonight’s Winner?

This poll is closed

  • 24%
    Raptors
    (15 votes)
  • 35%
    Warriors
    (22 votes)
  • 9%
    Advertisers
    (6 votes)
  • 19%
    Drama
    (12 votes)
  • 11%
    CNC lathes and other programmable heavy machinery.
    (7 votes)
62 votes total Vote Now