Yes, you heard that right. In honor of the NBA restart taking place in Disney World, the entire SB Nation NBA league took part in a Disney player draft. The idea was to find an angle where a fictional character could help the team, and with The Dream Shake drawing the second overall pick, we found the perfect piece to supplement Daryl Morey’s small-ball approach.
#2 Overall Pick - Houston Rockets draft Jiminy Cricket from “Pinocchio”
If you thought the Rockets were small before, wait till you get a look at their newest addition. Doubling down on #PocketRockets, Houston not only added the smallest player in the draft but also one of the most dynamic. Crickets can jump over 50 times their body length, making them one of the animals kingdom’s most prolific leapers. The lob game that left James Harden when Clint Capela was traded just might return with this draft pick.
In addition, Jiminy has one of the highest basketball IQs in this draft class. Being that he’s actually just the embodiment of a conscience, he always knows the right decision to make on the court.
Off the court, Cricket carries an impeccable sense of style, bringing his 19th-century gentlemen aesthetic to Houston’s well-known clubs. He’ll be a perfect fit alongside James Harden, complementing The Beard’s more modern tastes and offering the perfect accent in true wingman fashion.
His classic rendition of “When You Wish Upon a Star” will sure to be playing at all Rockets home games going forward, and if the Rockets wind up winning the title, it would go down next to “Never underestimate the heart of a champion” as the franchise’s most emotional catch line.
Standing 6.5 inches (not 6’5”), Jiminy is position-less and fits like a glove into Mike D’Antoni and Daryl Morey’s switchability philosophy. When you’re that short, what difference does it make if the guy you’re guarding is 6’3” or 6’10”? Cricket will be relying on his preternatural jumping ability either way.
He does need to work a little on his shooting, often being just a bit too small to even hoist the ball, but if he gets a running start and a chance to utilize his huge cricket hind legs to get some momentum behind him, he has practically limitless range.
Ultimately, however, Cricket’s a matchup nightmare for just about anyone when he’s on offense. Imagine trying to chase a Cricket off-ball. Does anyone have the agility to keep up with those cuts?
It’s a perfect fit for the franchise. Such a perfect fit, in fact, that he’s the only character even considered here. PocketRockets4life, y’all.
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