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2022 NBA Finals Thoughts Etc

A Hate Watch For Some

2022 NBA Playoffs - Miami Heat v Boston Celtics
Rockets Legend Daniel Theis - in the Finals!
Photo by Brian Babineau/NBAE via Getty Images

The NBA Finals are here. It’s the Golden State Warriors versus The Boston Celtics. Two very good teams in what I consider to be a weak year for the NBA. This Warriors team is a pale shadow of the peak Warriors, but what they are, they are. Boston is good. They aren’t bad at anything, and there’s no real place to attack them on defense.

I will confess to a solid dislike of both teams. Sometimes I wish I could be one of those fans who says “Hey, I’m just rooting for great basketball!”. I’m not one. It’s good to know who you are.

I have my reasons for not particularly caring for each team.

Golden State

When does charm turn into smugness? When does admiration turn to malice? How can a coach of Draymond Green speak with apparent sincerity about The Code? Whatever The Code may be. For Kerr, The Code seems to be ‘don’t hurt my guys, but it’s cool if Draymond hurts yours’.*

Also, we may at last be centering in on who made The Deal With Devil on Golden State. Klay Thompson was out for two years, and now he’s back and the following has happened.

Denver - missing two of three top players.

Memphis - missing Ja Morant.

Dallas - Well, if you want to play Heliocentric Basketball vs Golden State, your defense needs to be more than just good regular season effort. Also, like The Tin Man, Andrew Wiggins Found His Heart, and nobody could have predicted that. Who inspired that? I’m guessing Old Scratch.

I don’t care about other Bay Area Sports.

Boston

I don’t like Boston sports. I don’t like any of it. None. It started young, but then the giant smothering turd of The New England Patriots happened. If anything other than thinking I’m complicit in something terrible has lead me away from the NFL, it’s New England. It’s unclear if you could have less likable figures than Bill Belichick and Tom Brady without them being actual war criminals or something.

The Boston Red Sox had a human sacrifice on the night of a blood moon and broke their curse. (You think I’m kidding?) Then they basically did the exact same thing, with the same guy, the Astros did, but somehow they’re ok, and the Astros are evil. Even Jesuits might find that logic a bit thorny. That’s fine, The Astros Invitational (aka ALCS) is waiting for them (ht AK).

The Celtics, ironically, are the least annoying Boston team at present. Danny Ainge is gone. The only player I hate on Boston is Marcus Smart, and he’s just Draymond Lite. I sincerely hope he and Draymond create an Asshole Singularity and disappear into a Wormhole of Shithousery never to be seen again. I even like Brad Stevens and Ime Udoka and have no particular ill will to any other Celtic.

Then there’s the Boston Sports Media Mafia, looming over the entire American sports landscape, twisting every single discussion back to Boston. That’s really the kindest way I can put it.

Anyway, it’s the Forces of Darkness vs The Forces of Evil. Seems appropriate right now.

Poll

NBA Finals Winner?

This poll is closed

  • 4%
    Darkness
    (5 votes)
  • 12%
    Evil
    (14 votes)
  • 35%
    Boston
    (41 votes)
  • 17%
    Golden State
    (20 votes)
  • 30%
    Nobody
    (35 votes)
115 votes total Vote Now

* A Short, Highly Incomplete, List of Draymond Green Playoff Player Attacks or Injuries in The Playoffs:

Stepping on Mike Conley’s Fractured Face

Several Kicks and Punches to Groins (Lebron, Adams, Etc)

Eye Gouge James Harden, other eye gouges

Various Dangerous Take Outs, (Skipping Away Laughing - is that part of The Code?)