Who should be the Rockets’ scapegoat in 22-23?

We’re still a long ways out from NBA training camps even opening, but it’s never too early to begin the search for someone to blame for the Rockets’ misfortunes!

It seems that every season the Very Online Rockets Sphere (VORS) chooses someone, sometimes several someones, to blame for the team either not winning, or not losing in a constructive, or pleasing, manner. Sometimes this happens because VORS would, collectively, like to see someone else play more. Sometimes this happens because a player isn’t suited for his role, or isn’t performing well in it. Sometimes it’s not a matter of that player not being good, but rather, not being another player that should have been drafted, signed, or traded for, instead.

Sometimes VORS chooses a scapegoat because it appears that a scapegoat simply must be chosen. It’s too tediously reasonable to take the position that the current team simply isn’t good, and isn’t likely to be good, for a while. That picking a villain is an exercise in futility, if not foolishness, but why let that be a stumbling block?

You may be saying, well, this is August, we’re literally in The Dog Days of The NBA. Why do we need to do this now?

Well, in NBA news, aside from Kevin Durant doubling down on his 70 win Warriors move with Super Diva Demands, there’s not a lot happening right now.

Without further ado, here are some candidates to be the VORS ScapeGoat 22-23.

Stephen Silas

Why - He can’t coach. The players aren’t learning. The offense doesn’t work. He’s too nice.

Likelihood - High

Jalen Green

Why - He’s not developing quickly enough. He needs to shoot more. He needs to shoot less. He needs to pass more. He needs to be more selfish.

Likelihood - Moderate

Kevin Porter Jr.

Why - He’s a head case. He’s not a point guard. He’s not scoring enough. He can’t play with X. He’s going to want to be paid what similar players are now paid.

Likelihood - Very High

JaeSean Tate

Why - He got an NBA contract. He’s not really a Power Forward. He still can’t shoot. He should grow taller.

Likelihood - Moderate

Jabari Smith

Why - He’s not Paolo Banchero, or Chet Holmgren. He’s not shooting it well enough. He’s not defending well enough. He can’t dribble that well. He’s not an all-star at 19.

Likelihood - Moderate

Tari Eason

Why - He’s out of control. He should be more out of control. He drives too much. He should drive more. He fouls too much. He should foul more. He needs to shoot better.

Likelihood - Low

TyTy Washington

Why - He’s not a fully formed, near all-star NBA PG at 19-20. He’s too small. He should grow, like Tate. He doesn’t shoot enough. He needs to pass it more. What kind of name is TyTy anyway?

Likelihood - Low to Moderate

Alperen Sengun

Why - He’s good, but not great. He’s not tall enough. He doesn’t defend well enough. He doesn’t shoot the three well enough.

Likelihood - Sure, go at all of Turkey and their drones if you think you’re hard enough.

Josh Christopher

Why - Doesn’t shoot enough. Doesn’t pass enough. Doesn’t defend enough. Too selfish. Too unselfish. Isn’t peak Baron Davis. Should start. Should never start.

Likelihood - High

(Why is the poll there? I don’t know. About half this article disappeared once already. I’m leaving well enough alone.)