Here we are at at last - NBA lottery day. What will it be? The Rockets have come close to that #1 pick in their three years of painful, deliberate, futile-seeming years, but haven’t quite gotten the top pick. Whether or not they’ve gotten the top player anyway remains to be seen.
Tonight the random, seemingly random, or not-at-all-random (depending on whether or not you subscribe to no conspiracy theories, light conspiracy theories, or full on tinfoil hat conspiracy theories of the NBA lottery) lottery balls of the NBA will tell the tale of roughly an entire Rockets season.
Who’s the number one pick? Who’s standing 7’4” in his stocking feet? Who can dribble, shoot, block shots, and not bother doing any predraft stuff at all in any US city? Who’s the French sensation? Who’s leading every draft story?
Everyone knows it’s Wemby.
Who’s number two? Well, I think it’s Scoot Henderson, and it’s best to not overthink this, but overthinking is what we do now, and some observers have Brandon Miller #2. This despite some questionable personal decision making that will likely continue to be part of his life, even if not in a criminal fashion, and despite one of the very worst NCAA tourneys one might see from a top player.
Perhaps you noticed the two jolly figures depicted with this article: Saint Nicholas, known in many places as Santa Claus, and Krampus, a problematic and violent being known mostly in northern Europe. If the The Balls Fall #1, or #2, I think we can say that Saint Nick has filled our shoes, boots, stockings, socks, Christmas tree, or Christmas tree environs with nice things. If the pick falls below that, well, it’s Basketball Krampus visiting the Bayou City, beating Rockets fans with sticks, or chains, or something else unpleasant, encouraging them to Win Some Damn Basketball Games Like Good Teams Do.
Anyway, we’ll know soon, very soon.
Feel free to express your anxiety, joy, disappointment, suspicion, ennui or whatever emotion currently besets you here.
"Jolly" St. Nicholas
St. Anthony The Great (Patron Saint of Boredom)